Well, it looks like Hollywood is out of ideas again. Now comes the remake of 'Carrie'. Oh, and the spinsters are saying it's the BEST remake EVER. Yeah. I'm sure it is.
They stepped over the line when the Coen brothers remade True Grit. Now, I've heard it was a good movie, and I do not doubt it. The Coen brothers are two of the best movie makers in the business. But, it is absolute sacrilege to remake a John Wayne movie. Especially the only movie where he won an Academy Award. To remake a John Wayne movie is almost like selling your soul to the devil. They can do remakes all they want to...just leave the Duke alone. His movies are sacred as far as I'm concerned. I didn't go see it in the theatre and I won't watch it on Pay Per View or on DVD. I just won't watch it...EVER.
The remake of The Invasion of the Body Snatchers, with Donald Sutherland, was pretty good. But most remakes are done because Generation X wasn't around to see the first ones. To them, it's all new stuff. If they ever decide to do a remake of Gone With The Wind, I think we should all march to LA and burn down the studio. All of us. There are some movies that transcend the notion of 'doing it better'.
It's fair to say that Hollywood has run out of fresh ideas, but the sheeple continue to flood the ticket booths to watch these rehashed and not-so-well re-done re-redos. You think I'm exaggerating? Take a look at the list below of planned remakes that Hollywood is either thinking about or have in production. I've only included the most inane.
Dredd, Evil Dead, Red Dawn, Robocop, All Quiet on the Western Front, Annie, A Star is Born, Mad Max: Fury Road, Pet Sematary, Point Break, The Crow, An American Werewolf in London, Barbarella, Dirty Dancing, The Never Ending Story, The Seven Samurai, War Games, Time Bandits, The Birds (remake Hitchcock? Hitchcock????), Death Wish, Escape from New York (gotta love Snake Pliskin), Highlander, Lethal Weapon (didn't they have 42 sequels to this one?), My Fair Lady (You've GOT to be kidding), Little Shop of Horrors, Romancing the Stone, Porky's, Scarface, Short Circuit, The Warriors (NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!), The Wild Bunch (remake a Peckinpah? Peckinpah????), and Westworld....just to name a few....that ain't all of 'em.
I have a screenplay that doesn't look like, taste like, smell like any of those. It's fresh, new, based on actual events, which I thought people loved, and what's more...I'll sell it cheap. All a producer has to do is go to my website....www.robertcoward.com...send me an e-mail, and I'll be willing to talk turkey and smoke peace pipe.
Admittedly, some of the movies in the list above were bad the first time around. But several of them should be regarded as timeless classics and left the hell alone. But, when you have a gazillion dollars, I've found out, it also means that you lose all comprehension of what common sense even means. I've known a lot of rich people and the vast majority can't tie their own shoelaces. Oh, they can make money hand over fist. Yet, they can't see beyond their noses when it comes to practical matters.
I rarely go to the movies these days, anyway. But when I sit down in front of my TV and scan the pay per view movies on Comcast, I guarantee I won't be watching any remakes. They'll just have to make money without my nickel.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Who Are These 'Undecided' Voters?
Every presidential election comes down to the dreaded 'undecideds'. Right now on the news, that's all we're hearing about. The undecided independent voter allegedly holds the fate of our nation in their wishy-washy hands, unable to make a decision with less than three weeks to go until the election itself. So, I began to ponder on just who these people may be. From what I've seen they come from all walks of life and include both male and female of all ages. However, I believe they share many common traits.
First...they're buffoons. Anyone who hasn't decided YET on who they are going to vote for doesn't have the sense God gave to an amoeba. What is it about either candidate that they can't possibly understand at this particular time in the campaign? It is obvious to me they haven't understood what Obama has done or hasn't done in the last four years and that they haven't performed their due diligence to see what Romney's track record is and then made an intelligent comparison. If they have waited until the debates to make a decision, what more information do they expect to glean from them? I have watched both presidential debates and the Veep debate and can affirm that 'deciding' information is not what's offered by these men. There are no specifics coming from either side, and understandably so. How can you be specific about major economic plans when you have two minutes to speak? I heard one of the 'undecided' voters today talk about how Romney made 'snarky' comments that didn't sit well with him. Snarky? Snarky??!! Someone needs to take his man card away for even using that word.
Secondly...they're hermits. These people must not have access to newspapers, radio, TV, magazines or internet. They must live way out in the woods or in the mountains, living off the land, trapping their food and fishing from the rivers for subsistence. They only come out into the public eye every four years to wield their enormous power over the rest of us. "Yes! We are the Undecideds, back to shape the future of the world! Bow to us, and put us on your news shows so we may spread our vast, unequivocal knowledge about all things politic and finally decide on who will be the next supreme leader! Bow to our undecideness, and feel the power of indecision!"
Thirdly...they're bi-polar. One of the symptoms of manic depression is difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. Anyone who hasn't made up their mind by now needs to go see a shrink. YOU'RE BI-POLAR!!!!
Fourth...they have low self esteem and use this as a way to look important to others. "Oh, well...I just don't know yet. Romney is snarky and Obama is persnickety. I like what both say, but the substance isn't there. You know?" No, I don't know. I know that if you're undecided at this point there's a reason for it other than the candidates themselves. It has to do with YOU. How much information do you need? What further convincing is there? Either way, decide to vote for somebody!!! Make a freakin' decision, already.
And finally, fifth...they think it makes them look intelligent. In fact, more intelligent than those of us who have already made up our minds. However, sadly, it doesn't make them look intelligent. It makes them look like hand-wringers, Nervous Nellies, worry warts, and outright schmucks. They would no doubt counter with, "But this is the most important election of our lifetime. Our vote should not be given haphazardly or nonchalantly. Every vote is important and should be cast only after considerably deep thought and trepidation." I would agree with that statement if this were June or July, 2012. But it's mid-October and there have been three debates. There has been ample opportunity to investigate, ponder, masticate, combobulate and then DECIDE. And, if they have done that already, and still haven't made up their minds, it's not intelligence that's keeping them from doing so. It's a mental disconnect that can probably be traced back to their childhood when they couldn't decide what color of socks to wear.
Too much importance is being placed on these people and they thrive on it. Take away the bottle of attention and they'll quit sucking on it and make a decision. Or, they might not vote at all. And that possibility is what excites me the most. Who needs 'em?
First...they're buffoons. Anyone who hasn't decided YET on who they are going to vote for doesn't have the sense God gave to an amoeba. What is it about either candidate that they can't possibly understand at this particular time in the campaign? It is obvious to me they haven't understood what Obama has done or hasn't done in the last four years and that they haven't performed their due diligence to see what Romney's track record is and then made an intelligent comparison. If they have waited until the debates to make a decision, what more information do they expect to glean from them? I have watched both presidential debates and the Veep debate and can affirm that 'deciding' information is not what's offered by these men. There are no specifics coming from either side, and understandably so. How can you be specific about major economic plans when you have two minutes to speak? I heard one of the 'undecided' voters today talk about how Romney made 'snarky' comments that didn't sit well with him. Snarky? Snarky??!! Someone needs to take his man card away for even using that word.
Secondly...they're hermits. These people must not have access to newspapers, radio, TV, magazines or internet. They must live way out in the woods or in the mountains, living off the land, trapping their food and fishing from the rivers for subsistence. They only come out into the public eye every four years to wield their enormous power over the rest of us. "Yes! We are the Undecideds, back to shape the future of the world! Bow to us, and put us on your news shows so we may spread our vast, unequivocal knowledge about all things politic and finally decide on who will be the next supreme leader! Bow to our undecideness, and feel the power of indecision!"
Thirdly...they're bi-polar. One of the symptoms of manic depression is difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. Anyone who hasn't made up their mind by now needs to go see a shrink. YOU'RE BI-POLAR!!!!
Fourth...they have low self esteem and use this as a way to look important to others. "Oh, well...I just don't know yet. Romney is snarky and Obama is persnickety. I like what both say, but the substance isn't there. You know?" No, I don't know. I know that if you're undecided at this point there's a reason for it other than the candidates themselves. It has to do with YOU. How much information do you need? What further convincing is there? Either way, decide to vote for somebody!!! Make a freakin' decision, already.
And finally, fifth...they think it makes them look intelligent. In fact, more intelligent than those of us who have already made up our minds. However, sadly, it doesn't make them look intelligent. It makes them look like hand-wringers, Nervous Nellies, worry warts, and outright schmucks. They would no doubt counter with, "But this is the most important election of our lifetime. Our vote should not be given haphazardly or nonchalantly. Every vote is important and should be cast only after considerably deep thought and trepidation." I would agree with that statement if this were June or July, 2012. But it's mid-October and there have been three debates. There has been ample opportunity to investigate, ponder, masticate, combobulate and then DECIDE. And, if they have done that already, and still haven't made up their minds, it's not intelligence that's keeping them from doing so. It's a mental disconnect that can probably be traced back to their childhood when they couldn't decide what color of socks to wear.
Too much importance is being placed on these people and they thrive on it. Take away the bottle of attention and they'll quit sucking on it and make a decision. Or, they might not vote at all. And that possibility is what excites me the most. Who needs 'em?
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Obama Gets the Edge...Barely
What a fight! Fifteen rounds, no holds barred, in YO face octagon brawl. Wow. I haven't had this much fun since me and the missus went skinny dippin' in the clay pit back in 1978.
As everybody expected, Obama came out swinging and didn't stop punching until it was over. Romney held his own and had a few good roundhouses before the final bell rung.
Obama may have won this debate, but it wasn't the resounding victory he needed to change the dynamic of the swing that Romney has been experiencing since the first one. In order to do that, he needed a knockout, and he didn't get it.
Romney stuck to the plan which is the best plan to have against this administration. Slam Obama's record over the last four years. It's abysmal and even the Democrats know it. That's why Obama spent most of his time defending the last four years and demonizing Romney. Notice I didn't say Romney was slamming Obama...he was slamming the record, laying out where it got us, and what it will take to get us out of the mess we're in.
The governor missed a beautiful opportunity when Libya came up and the question was turned to who knew what when and why. Candy The Usurper Crowley, who had mainly stayed neutral until then, jumped to the president's defense about what he said in the Rose Garden on September 12. Immediately after the debate, she crawfished and admitted she was wrong and that Romney had indeed been correct. Still, Romney could have driven the point home by unleashing a litany of evidence to refute everything Obama said about it. However, the good news is that it opened up a door that will be talked about for days and the White House will have to continue to batten down the hatches and try to weather the upcoming storm.
Once, during the debate, I almost got up and shouted at Obama when he flatly denied cutting drilling permits and hooted that oil production was up during his term. I'm in that industry and I can tell you that his statement was an outright, bald faced lie. Offshore permits for drilling have been cut 62% from when Bush was in office and almost 33% for the onshore permits. How can you have more production with less discovery?
Still, Obama gets points for style, agressiveness, hammering his view of the issues and coming off as a man who is still in this fight to win. He garnered three more minutes of speaking time over Romney, and as the president he's entitled.
The CBS insta-poll after the debate had Romney winning 65% to 34%. Amazing how people see politics differently. Of course, CNN had Obama kicking butt.
They have one more to go and this one will focus on foreign policy. That will give the Benghazi issue more time to sizzle, and you can bet your bottom dollar that both men will be ready. I look for fireworks aplenty in the last one, and then it's a sprint to the finish line.
So, I score Obama the winner by decision; 139 to 137. But boy did he open a can of worms that will come back to bite him in the next one. I can't wait.
As everybody expected, Obama came out swinging and didn't stop punching until it was over. Romney held his own and had a few good roundhouses before the final bell rung.
Obama may have won this debate, but it wasn't the resounding victory he needed to change the dynamic of the swing that Romney has been experiencing since the first one. In order to do that, he needed a knockout, and he didn't get it.
Romney stuck to the plan which is the best plan to have against this administration. Slam Obama's record over the last four years. It's abysmal and even the Democrats know it. That's why Obama spent most of his time defending the last four years and demonizing Romney. Notice I didn't say Romney was slamming Obama...he was slamming the record, laying out where it got us, and what it will take to get us out of the mess we're in.
The governor missed a beautiful opportunity when Libya came up and the question was turned to who knew what when and why. Candy The Usurper Crowley, who had mainly stayed neutral until then, jumped to the president's defense about what he said in the Rose Garden on September 12. Immediately after the debate, she crawfished and admitted she was wrong and that Romney had indeed been correct. Still, Romney could have driven the point home by unleashing a litany of evidence to refute everything Obama said about it. However, the good news is that it opened up a door that will be talked about for days and the White House will have to continue to batten down the hatches and try to weather the upcoming storm.
Once, during the debate, I almost got up and shouted at Obama when he flatly denied cutting drilling permits and hooted that oil production was up during his term. I'm in that industry and I can tell you that his statement was an outright, bald faced lie. Offshore permits for drilling have been cut 62% from when Bush was in office and almost 33% for the onshore permits. How can you have more production with less discovery?
Still, Obama gets points for style, agressiveness, hammering his view of the issues and coming off as a man who is still in this fight to win. He garnered three more minutes of speaking time over Romney, and as the president he's entitled.
The CBS insta-poll after the debate had Romney winning 65% to 34%. Amazing how people see politics differently. Of course, CNN had Obama kicking butt.
They have one more to go and this one will focus on foreign policy. That will give the Benghazi issue more time to sizzle, and you can bet your bottom dollar that both men will be ready. I look for fireworks aplenty in the last one, and then it's a sprint to the finish line.
So, I score Obama the winner by decision; 139 to 137. But boy did he open a can of worms that will come back to bite him in the next one. I can't wait.
Candy Crowley...Hit 'Man'?
The only thing worse than getting a scorching case of chicken pox and then eaten by a bear is having to look at Candy Crowley for 90 minutes. The liberal TV news media has some of the scariest looking women alive. Even when they are pleasant to look at (Soledad O'Brien for example), the stuff that comes out of their pie hole makes one wonder how they ever rose to that level in their career. Fox News trots their ugly woman out every night (Greta van Susteren), but she's the only throw back in the bunch. And, in a beauty contest between her and Candy, I'd vote for Greta every time.
However, this is not a 'sexist' post....even though it's reading like one. Candy Crowley is a die-hard Democrat believing, socialist lovin', Obama worshippin' liberal of the highest order and has no business as a moderator in the Presidential debate tonight. A moderator in this kind of stage should be seen, if not actually, as an independent and non-committed bi-partisan referee between the parties involved.
Even both campaigns have complained about her recent remarks that she will inject her voice into the debate for 'clarification' purposes. She believes her presence is to make sure the candidates speak of 'apples' when there is an apple question and 'oranges' when there is an orange question. The last part strongly suggests that Candy lives in some kind of utopian dream world on Strattafax Five, a planet fifty galaxies away where ugly is beautiful and idiocy is deemed genius.
These are politicians, for crying out loud. Both men are going to disgorge the party line and the campaign rhetoric with as little real information as possible. That's why BOTH campaigns have sent letters to the Debate Commission about her recent comments. Obama has no record to run on, except for a bad one...and Romney is flying too high without getting into specifics to start now and give ammo to the opposition.
I believe this debate will be immensely more interesting to watch than the last one, and it will mainly be to see how Candy conducts herself. It is this writer's opinion that she will focus more on derailing Romney than seeing to it she remain objective and fair to both. I hope I'm right and that her efforts are obvious. If so, that will only make Obama look worse than he already does, and give conservative voices even more of a reason to cry foul and make hay about the double standard that exists in the media.
If I were to make a movie about a woman assassin, Candy would be perfect for the part. Can you just see that face when she grimaces in anger? Obama won't be the only one tonight expecting to get aggressive. Crowley the Hit Man will, too. I would say Hit Woman...but she doesn't fit the look. It could be two against one. I can't wait to see how it plays out.
However, this is not a 'sexist' post....even though it's reading like one. Candy Crowley is a die-hard Democrat believing, socialist lovin', Obama worshippin' liberal of the highest order and has no business as a moderator in the Presidential debate tonight. A moderator in this kind of stage should be seen, if not actually, as an independent and non-committed bi-partisan referee between the parties involved.
Even both campaigns have complained about her recent remarks that she will inject her voice into the debate for 'clarification' purposes. She believes her presence is to make sure the candidates speak of 'apples' when there is an apple question and 'oranges' when there is an orange question. The last part strongly suggests that Candy lives in some kind of utopian dream world on Strattafax Five, a planet fifty galaxies away where ugly is beautiful and idiocy is deemed genius.
These are politicians, for crying out loud. Both men are going to disgorge the party line and the campaign rhetoric with as little real information as possible. That's why BOTH campaigns have sent letters to the Debate Commission about her recent comments. Obama has no record to run on, except for a bad one...and Romney is flying too high without getting into specifics to start now and give ammo to the opposition.
I believe this debate will be immensely more interesting to watch than the last one, and it will mainly be to see how Candy conducts herself. It is this writer's opinion that she will focus more on derailing Romney than seeing to it she remain objective and fair to both. I hope I'm right and that her efforts are obvious. If so, that will only make Obama look worse than he already does, and give conservative voices even more of a reason to cry foul and make hay about the double standard that exists in the media.
If I were to make a movie about a woman assassin, Candy would be perfect for the part. Can you just see that face when she grimaces in anger? Obama won't be the only one tonight expecting to get aggressive. Crowley the Hit Man will, too. I would say Hit Woman...but she doesn't fit the look. It could be two against one. I can't wait to see how it plays out.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
My Parents Raised Me Wrong
As I look back on my life I have to lay most of my failures directly at my parent's feet. They were idealists with a skewed look on life and made sure that their views were instilled into me as my own. As Job, I look around me and see what he saw. The wicked prosper, while the just wither.
My mother was a devout Baptist who taught Sunday School for as long as she was able to to stand at a lectern. She was a woman of prayer, but little faith in it. I say that because she was a constant hand-wringer...a 'worry wart' if you will. Yet, she had callouses on her knees when she died.
My father was a working man who had little time to play catch with his sons. He was too busy putting a roof over our heads, clothes on our back and food in our stomachs. I can count on both hands how many times he verbalized that he loved me and have several fingers left over to count something else with. However, I never doubted that he did.
My brother and I were not sent to church, we were taken to church. Every...blessed...Sunday. It was a rule. Part of life was going to church. Don't go, and it was a one way ticket to the fiery flames of an eternal, blistering, flesh-melting, bone charring and demon infested hell.
I never saw my parents fight. Not once can I recall them having an argument in front of me or my brother. I know they did have disagreements that resulted in a terse word or two at the dinner table, but nothing that would ever make me doubt we had a stable and happy home. We were never mistreated by either of them. Even though by today's standards my dad might have been arrested for abuse after taking the belt to us, but there was never any lasting harm done and the red marks were gone after about thirty minutes. Believe me, when he spoke, we listened.
My brother and I were raised to be respectful of others. We were told that color does not make the person. The Bible was our codebook of conduct. Dad was our example at working hard and doing a good job for a decent pay. He told us that if we worked hard and did our best, we would be rewarded. We were taught to play by the rules. Don't steal, don't lie, don't covet, etc etc. Share and share alike was their mantra.
Throughout my adult life I have tried to live the way I was brought up. And what has it gotten me? A wife who cheated on me in less than eight months of marriage. People who have mistreated me, lied to me, stabbed me in the back, thrown me out on the street, fired me, hired me and fired me again, betrayal by best friends, victories over me by worst enemies, a handicapped child, bankruptcy, foreclosure, open heart surgery, homelessness, lawsuits, a spouse's nervous breakdown and subsequent attempted suicide, two dead children and I could go on and on.
So, I look around and see people living their narcissistic, pandering, lying, thieving, self absorbed lives who don't care who they have to step on and brush aside as long as they get theirs and conclude that Mom and Dad did me no great service by raising me as they did. At least, not as the world sees it.
From the world's perspective I'm a chump, a loser, a crybaby and probably not too smart. I don't own a business and still work for the man. I am climbing out of a more than half million dollar hole, and have surrendered to the fact I won't ever be able to retire. There will be nothing to leave my remaining child but a place full of 34 years plus of accumulated stuff.
But, from my parent's perspective, I'm a survivor, a fighter with no quit, a dreamer, a helper, a good son, a good father, good husband and one who knows how to be a good friend. Some may chide me when I complain about my past or my present. When they do that, they have no more respect for Job than they do me. Who doesn't lament from time to time about their present condition? If you don't, then I envy you for being blissfully ignorant.
My parents raised me wrong if I were meant to be a worldly man seeking only worldly things. They raised me right if I were meant to be a man with character who would be able to stand on his own two feet in the midst of life's storms. They raised me right to know that even when the storms were too much for me, there was a strong tower that I could run into and be safe.
I am glad that I have had a fleeting moment in time to experience the world, travel to exotic places, meet different cultures, taste the finer things in this temporal life and be blessed with a little more money than most. But, life is summed up thusly. You are either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or heading into a storm. I have been storm free for almost two years. The last storm was when my chest was cut open and my diseased heart was repaired. I am now headed into another storm. The winds are picking up and my sails are not as strong as they once were. This could be a fierce one, and I wonder if I have the strength for it. I grow tired, but I have not lost my sense of defiance. If this one should prove to be the greatest of storms I have yet to face, then let it come. As I weigh the world's view of wealth in one hand, and my self worth in the other, I have no doubt...no doubt...the world would agree my parent's raised me wrong. And while the wind and rain lash my face and tear the sails of my life's ship, blowing her to the deadly rocks that may split her hull...I laugh at what the world thinks. The hand that holds my sense of self worth far outweighs the wealth of the world. True value was instilled in me, and my parents....raised me right.
My mother was a devout Baptist who taught Sunday School for as long as she was able to to stand at a lectern. She was a woman of prayer, but little faith in it. I say that because she was a constant hand-wringer...a 'worry wart' if you will. Yet, she had callouses on her knees when she died.
My father was a working man who had little time to play catch with his sons. He was too busy putting a roof over our heads, clothes on our back and food in our stomachs. I can count on both hands how many times he verbalized that he loved me and have several fingers left over to count something else with. However, I never doubted that he did.
My brother and I were not sent to church, we were taken to church. Every...blessed...Sunday. It was a rule. Part of life was going to church. Don't go, and it was a one way ticket to the fiery flames of an eternal, blistering, flesh-melting, bone charring and demon infested hell.
I never saw my parents fight. Not once can I recall them having an argument in front of me or my brother. I know they did have disagreements that resulted in a terse word or two at the dinner table, but nothing that would ever make me doubt we had a stable and happy home. We were never mistreated by either of them. Even though by today's standards my dad might have been arrested for abuse after taking the belt to us, but there was never any lasting harm done and the red marks were gone after about thirty minutes. Believe me, when he spoke, we listened.
My brother and I were raised to be respectful of others. We were told that color does not make the person. The Bible was our codebook of conduct. Dad was our example at working hard and doing a good job for a decent pay. He told us that if we worked hard and did our best, we would be rewarded. We were taught to play by the rules. Don't steal, don't lie, don't covet, etc etc. Share and share alike was their mantra.
Throughout my adult life I have tried to live the way I was brought up. And what has it gotten me? A wife who cheated on me in less than eight months of marriage. People who have mistreated me, lied to me, stabbed me in the back, thrown me out on the street, fired me, hired me and fired me again, betrayal by best friends, victories over me by worst enemies, a handicapped child, bankruptcy, foreclosure, open heart surgery, homelessness, lawsuits, a spouse's nervous breakdown and subsequent attempted suicide, two dead children and I could go on and on.
So, I look around and see people living their narcissistic, pandering, lying, thieving, self absorbed lives who don't care who they have to step on and brush aside as long as they get theirs and conclude that Mom and Dad did me no great service by raising me as they did. At least, not as the world sees it.
From the world's perspective I'm a chump, a loser, a crybaby and probably not too smart. I don't own a business and still work for the man. I am climbing out of a more than half million dollar hole, and have surrendered to the fact I won't ever be able to retire. There will be nothing to leave my remaining child but a place full of 34 years plus of accumulated stuff.
But, from my parent's perspective, I'm a survivor, a fighter with no quit, a dreamer, a helper, a good son, a good father, good husband and one who knows how to be a good friend. Some may chide me when I complain about my past or my present. When they do that, they have no more respect for Job than they do me. Who doesn't lament from time to time about their present condition? If you don't, then I envy you for being blissfully ignorant.
My parents raised me wrong if I were meant to be a worldly man seeking only worldly things. They raised me right if I were meant to be a man with character who would be able to stand on his own two feet in the midst of life's storms. They raised me right to know that even when the storms were too much for me, there was a strong tower that I could run into and be safe.
I am glad that I have had a fleeting moment in time to experience the world, travel to exotic places, meet different cultures, taste the finer things in this temporal life and be blessed with a little more money than most. But, life is summed up thusly. You are either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or heading into a storm. I have been storm free for almost two years. The last storm was when my chest was cut open and my diseased heart was repaired. I am now headed into another storm. The winds are picking up and my sails are not as strong as they once were. This could be a fierce one, and I wonder if I have the strength for it. I grow tired, but I have not lost my sense of defiance. If this one should prove to be the greatest of storms I have yet to face, then let it come. As I weigh the world's view of wealth in one hand, and my self worth in the other, I have no doubt...no doubt...the world would agree my parent's raised me wrong. And while the wind and rain lash my face and tear the sails of my life's ship, blowing her to the deadly rocks that may split her hull...I laugh at what the world thinks. The hand that holds my sense of self worth far outweighs the wealth of the world. True value was instilled in me, and my parents....raised me right.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Sour Grapes and Hacks
I can't stand Fox News. Literally can't stand 'em. I don't mind the actual 'news' stuff, but the Opinion guys make me sick. Now, I fully realize a lot of this is sour grapes on my part...and I admit it. But I can't stomach Sean Hannity or Bill O'Reilly or most of their constantly reoccuring guests. Of all the people they have on, Charles Krauthammer is one of the few I like to listen to. But, I digress.
The two that are the focus of my angst I have already mentioned. It seems like every time I turn the channel to see who they have as guests it's always Ann Coulter, the Skeletor of our time, or Dick Morris. Ann Coulter needs to eat a few Big Macs and Dick needs to back away from the table more often. Can't they find a happy medium somewhere in their dietary habits? As far as substance, I like to hear what Dick Morris has to say about current political events. Other than that, he should stop typing and shut up.
If you don't watch these two shows, try it for about a week. One thing you'll notice is these guys and their guests shoot out books like a hippo on Ex-Lax. And it's all garbage. All of it. Morris is hawking his new book, Here Come the Black Helicopters. Ooooooo. I'm so scared. Oooooo. Thank you Dick for warning me. Ooooooo. Where's my cave???? "Hey Martha! Grab the ammo and the MRE's. The Black choppers are comin'!" Whenever I tune in, it's like I'm on Bourbon Street with the guys outside the sex show bars saying, "We got the best women, the best prices, the best booze, yadda yadda yadda." But all it is is crap. I hear.
O'Reilly has made almost 30 million dollars on his book sales alone. What has he written that's actually entertaining? What has he written that helps people escape into another world, another time, another place and just sit back and enjoy a story? He hasn't. What he writes is political gobble-dee-gook that is meant to scare, divide, disturb and paint a dark picture for our future.
Tell me. Do you not already know it's bad? Do you not already know that the whole world is in turmoil? And, do you not already know that as an individual there isn't a whole helluva lot you can do about it? I am fully aware that our government, whether run by Democrats or Republicans, is out of control and will probably remain that way. We have been and are being reduced to nothing more than cattle for the power elite to feed off of. Okay, I know it. I don't need regurgitated upon regurgitated books by Hannity, O'Reilly, Coulter, Morris, et al to tell me what I already know.
They all are a bunch of hacks. All of 'em. "Welcome Mr. Guest, to the Sean Hannity show, glad to have you with us today so we can tell everybody about your new book, "Why Obama Won't Tell You He's From Mars", and so I can have the chance to plug my new book, "Obama's Not From Mars, He's From Uranus". And be sure and tune in tomorrow when Ann Coulter will be here to whore her new book, "We're All Dead if Obama Gets Re-Elected", where I will also prostitute my latest book, that I'm finishing tonight, "We're All Dead No Matter What...So Read This Book to Know Why". We finish the week with Dick Morris, who will drool over his upcoming profits for the book, "I Was Wrong...They're Not Black Helicopters, They're Pink Helicopters, And Why the Color of the Helicopters Make a Difference in How You're All Going to Die". By then, I will have finished with my next book, "Pink Helicopters Won't Kill You, But Liberalism Will". Well, that's all the time we have for today. I want to apologize to Mr. Guest for not giving him a chance to say one single solitary word, but at least we mentioned the title of his book. After all, that's what we're here for. Good night, and good luck."
They're laughing at YOU, the purchaser of their bilgewater, all the way to the bank. Now, I know that some people will say, "But, they're just trying to inform us!" "They're on our side!" Or, "Better than the crap you write!" First, they're not just trying to inform us. They are trying to make money and doing a great job at it because of idiots that shell it out. Secondly, they are on THEIR side of filling their pockets. Thirdly, they have the position, title and money from their celebrity to gain the attention of any publisher, agent or publicist to make sure they have the best editors and best ad programs money can buy. If my stuff is crap, it's because all I have is me to write it. I have been told, however, by those who have actually purchased my work, that I'm a pretty damned good writer. Since my mother is dead, you can't place my accolades on her.
I'm about to finish a four month long radio campaign for one of my books. I took a big chance and laid down 5000 dollars to promote it. Have I seen an increase in sales? Yes, I have. But it did not meet my expectations. And I have the book selling at .99 cents for Pete's sake. I've looked into hiring a publicist. Do you know how much that costs? Only someone who has a lot of money, and I mean a LOT of money, can hire a publicist. I finally had a publisher pick up my Western and will soon have a professional editor to assist me in fine tuning it. It won't be out until July next year and I can't wait. Yet, without the ability to get the word out on a grand scale, it has little hope of helping me to just retire, much less become filthy rich.
I don't write political books. Maybe I should start. But, first I have to get my own TV opinion show on Fox News and become a hack. I just don't think I could do what they do. I don't have enough hair on top of my head. Excuse me while I go eat a bowl of sour grapes.
The two that are the focus of my angst I have already mentioned. It seems like every time I turn the channel to see who they have as guests it's always Ann Coulter, the Skeletor of our time, or Dick Morris. Ann Coulter needs to eat a few Big Macs and Dick needs to back away from the table more often. Can't they find a happy medium somewhere in their dietary habits? As far as substance, I like to hear what Dick Morris has to say about current political events. Other than that, he should stop typing and shut up.
If you don't watch these two shows, try it for about a week. One thing you'll notice is these guys and their guests shoot out books like a hippo on Ex-Lax. And it's all garbage. All of it. Morris is hawking his new book, Here Come the Black Helicopters. Ooooooo. I'm so scared. Oooooo. Thank you Dick for warning me. Ooooooo. Where's my cave???? "Hey Martha! Grab the ammo and the MRE's. The Black choppers are comin'!" Whenever I tune in, it's like I'm on Bourbon Street with the guys outside the sex show bars saying, "We got the best women, the best prices, the best booze, yadda yadda yadda." But all it is is crap. I hear.
O'Reilly has made almost 30 million dollars on his book sales alone. What has he written that's actually entertaining? What has he written that helps people escape into another world, another time, another place and just sit back and enjoy a story? He hasn't. What he writes is political gobble-dee-gook that is meant to scare, divide, disturb and paint a dark picture for our future.
Tell me. Do you not already know it's bad? Do you not already know that the whole world is in turmoil? And, do you not already know that as an individual there isn't a whole helluva lot you can do about it? I am fully aware that our government, whether run by Democrats or Republicans, is out of control and will probably remain that way. We have been and are being reduced to nothing more than cattle for the power elite to feed off of. Okay, I know it. I don't need regurgitated upon regurgitated books by Hannity, O'Reilly, Coulter, Morris, et al to tell me what I already know.
They all are a bunch of hacks. All of 'em. "Welcome Mr. Guest, to the Sean Hannity show, glad to have you with us today so we can tell everybody about your new book, "Why Obama Won't Tell You He's From Mars", and so I can have the chance to plug my new book, "Obama's Not From Mars, He's From Uranus". And be sure and tune in tomorrow when Ann Coulter will be here to whore her new book, "We're All Dead if Obama Gets Re-Elected", where I will also prostitute my latest book, that I'm finishing tonight, "We're All Dead No Matter What...So Read This Book to Know Why". We finish the week with Dick Morris, who will drool over his upcoming profits for the book, "I Was Wrong...They're Not Black Helicopters, They're Pink Helicopters, And Why the Color of the Helicopters Make a Difference in How You're All Going to Die". By then, I will have finished with my next book, "Pink Helicopters Won't Kill You, But Liberalism Will". Well, that's all the time we have for today. I want to apologize to Mr. Guest for not giving him a chance to say one single solitary word, but at least we mentioned the title of his book. After all, that's what we're here for. Good night, and good luck."
They're laughing at YOU, the purchaser of their bilgewater, all the way to the bank. Now, I know that some people will say, "But, they're just trying to inform us!" "They're on our side!" Or, "Better than the crap you write!" First, they're not just trying to inform us. They are trying to make money and doing a great job at it because of idiots that shell it out. Secondly, they are on THEIR side of filling their pockets. Thirdly, they have the position, title and money from their celebrity to gain the attention of any publisher, agent or publicist to make sure they have the best editors and best ad programs money can buy. If my stuff is crap, it's because all I have is me to write it. I have been told, however, by those who have actually purchased my work, that I'm a pretty damned good writer. Since my mother is dead, you can't place my accolades on her.
I'm about to finish a four month long radio campaign for one of my books. I took a big chance and laid down 5000 dollars to promote it. Have I seen an increase in sales? Yes, I have. But it did not meet my expectations. And I have the book selling at .99 cents for Pete's sake. I've looked into hiring a publicist. Do you know how much that costs? Only someone who has a lot of money, and I mean a LOT of money, can hire a publicist. I finally had a publisher pick up my Western and will soon have a professional editor to assist me in fine tuning it. It won't be out until July next year and I can't wait. Yet, without the ability to get the word out on a grand scale, it has little hope of helping me to just retire, much less become filthy rich.
I don't write political books. Maybe I should start. But, first I have to get my own TV opinion show on Fox News and become a hack. I just don't think I could do what they do. I don't have enough hair on top of my head. Excuse me while I go eat a bowl of sour grapes.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Smorgasbord Friday
It was reported that a pet store in Miami held a roach eating contest. The participants were vying to win a python. The 'winner' of the contestant, out of about thirty people, was a man named Edward Archbold, 32. The reason I say he 'was' the winner, is that shortly after he fell ill and subsequently died. None of the other contestants became sick. I don't know about you, but I'll stick to steak and taters, thank you.
In Great Britain, a place I dearly love, an 18 year old woman named Gaby Scanlon partook of a type of drink that is enhanced by the addition of liquid nitrogen. The nitrogen creates 'smoke' and 'fizzles' in the drink and is considered exotic. Well, in this case, Gaby must have guzzled the drink, consuming the nitrogen while it was still liquid. What happens in the stomach is that it soon turns to gas and rapidly expands, turning one's stomach into an oversized balloon. In Gaby's case, it burst her stomach and doctors had to remove it to save her life. Police are investigating the incident.
In Great Britain, a place I dearly love, an 18 year old woman named Gaby Scanlon partook of a type of drink that is enhanced by the addition of liquid nitrogen. The nitrogen creates 'smoke' and 'fizzles' in the drink and is considered exotic. Well, in this case, Gaby must have guzzled the drink, consuming the nitrogen while it was still liquid. What happens in the stomach is that it soon turns to gas and rapidly expands, turning one's stomach into an oversized balloon. In Gaby's case, it burst her stomach and doctors had to remove it to save her life. Police are investigating the incident.
Albert Einstein was one of the most brilliant men in the 20th century. He wrote a letter to a friend that has been dubbed 'The God Letter', and was put up on eBay for auction. The initial bid was three million dollars. In the letter, Einstein calls belief in religion and God "pretty childish" and ridicules the idea that the Jews are a chosen people. I wonder what he's thinking now?
The U.S. is still sticking it to the natives that were here before the rest of us. North Dakota is seeing a huge oil boom. Millions of barrels of reserves have been found on Indian land. The Fort Berthold reservation is smack dab in the middle of this black gold rush. Four years ago, the tribe and state signed an agreement to split up the tax revenue...right down the middle. Tribal tax director Mark Fox says the oil taxes from the reservation have totaled $346 million since the signing of the agreement, but the reservation has only gotten a third of that. The State has taken over 2/3's. When the tribe protested and took their grievance to the North Dakota State Legislature, their idea was rejected. One would think we still live in the 1870's the way we treat these people. We give them land and say, "Here you shall live if you wish to keep your nation intact and be your own people. This land is your sovereign territory, set apart from the United States so you can rule yourselves. Only...the oil ain't yours, the uranium ain't yours, we keep the lion's share of any casino proceeds, and if you have a legitimate grievance we'll just add it to this huge pile of broken treaties and promises over the last four hundred years." But, we make sure they have plent of firewater.
In Pennsylvania, a dastardly and evil criminal walked into a bank to rob it. Jeffrey McMullen, a 50 year old regular customer of the bank, handed notes to two tellers demanding money. When they looked at the notes, they thought it was a joke. How much was he demanding? One dollar. Jeffrey was obviously tired of working for a living and wanted to be prosecuted for a federal offense so he could be sent to a plushy Federal Prison to be fed three squares a day and lounge about on the taxpayer's nickel. One note given to tellers said, "FBI custody. Preferbly (sic) Loretto Pa. No press. Seal all files," according to the complaint. Police took that to be a request that McMullen hoped authorities would not publicize his case. The other said, "Federal bank robbery. Please hand over $1.00." Hmmm. Lounging about on the taxpayer's nickel. Come to think of it, that's not such a bad idea.
A man in Spain, who was serving time in jail, had repeatedly asked for authorities to go to his home and check on his wife that he had not heard from for more than a year. A judge had refused on several occasions to allow anyone into the home. Even when residents, who lived close by, were complaining of a foul odor coming from the home, the judge denied many requests from the town police and the civil guard to enter the home. His reasoning was there had been many complaints over the year's about the woman's total lack of 'hygeine' inside the home so he was not willing to infringe on her privacy with no more to go on than that. Eventually, the man was released on furlough and went to his house. He had to break down the door to find the mummified remains of his wife lying in bed. You can't make this stuff up.
A man in Spain, who was serving time in jail, had repeatedly asked for authorities to go to his home and check on his wife that he had not heard from for more than a year. A judge had refused on several occasions to allow anyone into the home. Even when residents, who lived close by, were complaining of a foul odor coming from the home, the judge denied many requests from the town police and the civil guard to enter the home. His reasoning was there had been many complaints over the year's about the woman's total lack of 'hygeine' inside the home so he was not willing to infringe on her privacy with no more to go on than that. Eventually, the man was released on furlough and went to his house. He had to break down the door to find the mummified remains of his wife lying in bed. You can't make this stuff up.
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