Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Reliant
The Texans were DONE, and with that I ain't lyin'.
Their jock straps were thrown in the trash without care,
For what they once held, were no longer there.

What coaches were left, shivered in their beds,
While visions of hatchets cut off their heads.
And McNair in his hood, and with Smith by his side,
Showed no mercy for the careers that have died.

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
McNair and Smith looked into the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The season was over with nothing to show,
And no one was safe, after falling so low.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
A Santa in red and he was holding a spear.

He poked the team slackers, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than Zulus, he struck them with shame,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Out Schaub! Out Joe! Out Kubiak and Tate!
Out Dennison! Out Ninja! Out Wade to your fate!
To the Obamacare line! You're through with the ball!
Now go away! Go away! Go away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When you met with an obstacle, you laid down and died.
Off to the scrap heap St. Nick he flew,
With the sleigh full of has-beens, and John McClain too.

And then, in a twinkling, they heard from the sleigh,
The crying and whining of those who once played.
As St. Nick removed them from Reliant forever,
We hope they come back, like maybe...NEVER.