The Movies

I rarely go to the theatre anymore. It's expensive and then you have people like me who forget to turn their cell phones off...even though they remind us time and time again to do so. But, in the last few weeks I've gone to the movies twice. It was expensive and I only forgot to turn my phone off once. Hey, 50% for me is pretty good.

Went to see The Heat first, with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. It was a good, funny, tongue-in-cheek movie that wasn't made to be a blockbuster Oscar wannabe. It was a 'fun' movie and I enjoyed it. Friday night I went to see Red 2. All the critics were saying it was as good as the original, if not better. While the movie had its moments, I did not think it was as good as the first one. There were too many slow moments in the film and the action wasn't as well contrived as in the original...in my opinion.

The critics panned The Heat for being what it was. One said it wasn't believable. My question there is...what movie is? Especially these days. Is The Wolverine believable? X-Men...Star Trek....Iron Man??? Please. Yes, I'm fully expecting our world to be invaded by Transformers or Hosts.

I usually find myself diametrically opposed to the movie critics. They didn't like The Heat and I did. They fell in love with Red 2 and I went, 'Meh.' Also, trailers are not a good indicator of whether a movie is going to be enjoyable or not. Take Red 2 for example. It should be the poster child for why we don't trust movie trailers. All the good stuff was in the trailer. Once you saw that, there wasn't much else to see. Friends aren't trustworthy either. "OHHHHHH, you HAVE to see this movie! It's so great!" So, you go because if you can't trust your friends, who can you trust? Right? Afterwards, as you are walking out of the theatre, you wonder if they were ever your friend to begin with after assassinating two hours or more of your life with a mundane film. Or, worse...you begin to wonder if they should be allowed in your house again...the worry being their mental stability for having thought it was a good movie.

Last night I watched a movie, on demand, that several 'friends' told me was a great movie. It was made a few years back and starred John Travolta and Nicolas Cage. The movie is titled 'Faceoff'.  The premise was far fetched, the story line was weird, the movie was too long and I've never seen sooo many bad shots as they portrayed we have in the FBI. In short, it was stupid. Then, on a whim, I watched The Island. This movie was about an underground labyrinth where rich people paid to have clones farmed from their DNA so if they needed a spare part or two they were ready made. The clones, who have no idea they are clones, work keeping new clones in development, but not really knowing what their job entails. They are all excited about the 'lottery', because if you win you get to go to the island and enjoy a life of leisure. Actually, they weren't taken to an island, but to a death table to have their organs harvested. A couple of clones escape and find their 'source', eventually going back and helping their fellow clones escape. Cheesy, long, in places boring, and again we have a lot of bad shots.

I long for the days we had with John Wayne, Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and Clint Eastwood (in his heyday). When these guys pulled a trigger, somebody was goin' down! Even with Eastwood aging, Gran Torino was a fantastic movie. John Wayne in Big Jake was solid. Steve McQueen's Bullitt was one of the most classic detective movies ever made with one of the best car chase scenes ever filmed. Yul Brynner in The King and I was one of the best he ever made. Where are the epics like Cleopatra, The Ten Commandments and Gone With the Wind? Alas, they are no more. It's all about special effects and computer generated people/monsters/things/aliens/etc.

Yet, we like movies. For a small while we can escape our humdrum lives and enter a world of farce and fantasy and make-believe on the big screen or in the comfort of our homes. Each time you sit and watch the opening of a movie, it's like rolling the dice. Sometimes they come up seven, and sometimes you crap out. It's just there seems to be a lot more crapping out than winning on the come out these days. Can't wait to see Battlefield Earth again. Not.