Strippers, that is. Or, in the more politically correct term, exotic dancers. They make a LOT of money and don't even have to have sex with strangers to get it. I've known three guys who have dated strippers and they all have told me they're psycho. No wonder, I thought, you would have to be to do that kind of schtick.
When I worked for an offshore construction company, there was this young engineer who put out an ad in the paper for someone to come in and room with him, sharing expenses. Half rent, half utilities, half garbage pick-up...the works. He told us that a stripper answered the ad and he was none too slow about accepting her as his room mate. To hear him tell us, she was drop dead gorgeous. After about a week, we were too quick to want to hear the juicy details of what it was like to live with a stripper. We were severely disappointed one day when we cornered him in the vending machine area.
"I never see her," he said with a frown. "When I come home from work, she's already gone. When I get up in the morning, her bedroom door is shut and there's a pile of money on the table."
We asked him how much?
"I don't know," he said with a look of disgust at us. "I don't count it. But there's fifties and hundreds and twenties and tens....all kinds of cash. It's piled up about a foot high. When I get home from work, she's gone and the money's gone." He said, "But every month she leaves a check on the table to cover her part. It's like clockwork."
Of course, this doesn't tell us how much she was actually making, but it seems like she was doing all right. The one thing my young engineer friend forgot to mention is all that cash was as tax free as she wanted it to be. Quite a business to be in...eh?
Then, I finally found out today how much they can possibly make. This one woman started stripping at age 18. Fifteen years later, at age 33...she retired from the dancing and wanted to buy her own men's club. So, with a couple of friends chipping in, she bundled her life's savings in ten-thousand dollar stacks and put it in plastic 'bags' and stuffed it in the trunk of their car. Their destination was New Jersey, where they were going to buy their own strip club. Once in the State, they get pulled over by a New Jersey State Trooper for speeding. He asks if he can search the car and they obliged. Well, upon opening the trunk, he sees all this money. Naturally, the way it's packaged, he thinks it's drug money. So, they bring in a pooch and he signals there is drugs on the money. The women are arrested and the cash confiscated. Tests on the money showed negligible drug residue....just like it would on yours and mine. All money has drug residue on it. All of it. If you don't believe me, check it out. Anyway, they have no real evidence to charge them with anything but speeding and let them go. But, only them. The money stayed. This ex-stripper wannabe strip club owner can't get to her fifteen years of hard work and has to go to court to get it back. Now, she was arrested in March, 2012. Only now has a judge ruled, more than a year later, that the woman's story is believable and there was no evidence to suggest she was involved in drug trafficking or money laundering. He ordered the State of New Jersey to either write her a check or deliver her savings in cash....with interest.
The amount? $ 1,074,000.00. That's one million, seventy four thousand dollars....saved....in 15 years. And I was glad....quite happy in fact....just yesterday...at having been born a man.
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