Wednesday, September 25, 2013

This Isn't a Sports Blog....but....

Now that I have finished roasting Matt Schaub over coals of hell fire, let's go on to our illustrious and much heralded head coach, the one and only genius of the gridiron...Gary Kubiak. He was hired and started as the boss of Reliant Stadium for the season of 2006. Since that time, we have listened to him take the blame for every loss; heap praise on his players for every win; and watched him build up a team that is competitive, but not overly anyone.

I did a little study today, and I don't claim these numbers to be presently up to date. I do have a job that gives me a paycheck that requires some of my attention. What I decided to do was make a list of many of the head coaches that started with their teams in 2006 and beyond, and then compare that to our glorious leader's record. Here's what I found....

Mike Smith: Atlanta Falcons (started in 2008) - .700 winning percentage. Record is 56 – 24. Has garnered two NFC South Championships, 4 playoff berths and won one AP Coach of the Year award. 

John Harbaugh: Baltimore Ravens (started in 2008) - .675 winning percentage. Record is 54 – 26. Has garnered one Super Bowl Championship, one AFC Championship, two AFC North Championships, and 5 playoff berths. 

Jason Garrett: Dallas Cowboys (started in 2010) - .525 winning percentage. Record is 21 – 19. 

John Fox: Denver Broncos (started in 2011) - .656 winning percentage. Record is 21 – 11. Has garnered 2 AFC West Championships and 2 playoff berths. 

Mike McCarthy: Green Bay Packers (started in 2006) - .661 winning percentage. Record is 74 – 38. Has garnered one Super Bowl Championship, one NFC Championship, 3 NFC North Championships and 5 playoff berths. 

Sean Payton: New Orleans Saints (started in 2006) - .646 winning percentage. Record is 62 – 34. Has garnered one Super Bowl Championship, one NFC Championship, 3 NFC South Championships, 4 playoff berths and THREE AP Coach of the Year awards. 

Rex Ryan: New York Jets (started in 2009) - .531 winning percentage. Record is 34 – 30. Has garnered two playoff berths. 

Mike Tomlin: Pittsburgh Steelers (started in 2007) - .656 winning percentage. Record is 63 – 33. Has garnered one Super Bowl Championship, two AFC Championships, 3 AFC North Championships and 4 playoff berths. 

Jim Harbaugh: San Francisco 49er’s (started in 2011) - .766 winning percentage. Record is 24-7-1. Has garnered one NFC Championship, 2 NFC West Championships, 2 playoff berths and one AP Coach of the Year award. 

Pete Carroll: Seattle Seahawks (started in 2010) - .521 winning percentage. Record is 25-23. Has garnered one NFC West Championship and two playoff berths. Arguably has the strongest team in the NFC for the 2013 season. 

Mike Shanahan: Washington Redskins (started in 2010) - .438 winning percentage. Record is 21-27. Has garnered one NFC East Championship and one playoff berth. 

Gary Kubiak: Houston Texans (started in 2006) - .527 winning percentage. Record is 59-53. Has garnered two AFC South Championships (back to back) and two playoff berths.

So, what do you see here? I see Mike Shanahan did in three years what Kubiak took six years to accomplish. Okay, Shanahan's an old hand at this...I get it. Let's move on. Rex Ryan, rookie coach back in 2009. What does he do? Comes into Reliant Stadium for his first game as a head coach with a rookie quarterback against the much vaunted Gary Kubiak and his nasty Texans and....whups 'em. Like Kubiak, he has garnered two playoff berths. Hell, even Jason Garrett's winning percentage is just two points under Kubiak's. And he inherited a mess. The real joke on us is Jim Harbaugh. Mike Singletary left the 49er's in a shambles when Harbaugh took over in 2011. What has he done? Oh, nothing really...only garnered one NFC Championship, two NFC West Championships, two playoff berths and one AP Coach of the Year award. In two seasons. TWO.
The difference between these men and what we're stuck with is they are flexible. They aren't...insane. Gary Kubiak is clinically insane. The reason I know this is that he keeps doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Isn't THAT the definition of insanity? He has watched his quarterback of seven years regress instead of progress; and won't recognize a change must be made. He refuses to open up the offense early, even though when they get behind and it becomes a necessity, he finally relents to a pass of more than five yards. But...JUST ONE, mind you. We don't want to get too reckless. He will not bend when it comes to his dogged determination to run the ball...even when confronted with a brick wall made of thousands of pounds of muscled man-meat. It wouldn't matter if he had Joe Montana in his prime...Kubes would run the ball and play it safe. He will not allow his player's natural athletic ability to be utilized in such a way as to best accentuate their talent; instead forcing them to mold into his inflexible system that has so far gotten us only to the second round of the playoffs. Only then to be embarrassed by Baltimore and New England. Plus...if I must remind you, the Texans didn't get to the playoffs until Kubiak was forced to stop hiring rookie and good old buddy defensive coordinators and bring Wade Phillips on board. It was only when the 3-4 defensive schemes of Wade Phillips and their drafting people like J.J. Watt that the Texans found themselves in the playoffs. It wasn't Gary Kubiak's offensive genius. It was Wade Phillips' smothering defense that carried the last two seasons.
Matt Schaub is not responsible for what he is. He was a second string quarterback in Atlanta and it's been proven in Houston why he was. Kubiak tried to make a silk purse out of sow's ear and is too stubborn to admit the experiment should be over. It is his stubbornness and resistance to change that has brought this team to where it is today. Any leader is derelict who does not listen to his advisors and even to his lowly men....or worse....refuses to believe their own eyes.
The Houston Texans will never...NEVER...make it to the AFC Championship and much less to the Super Bowl, with Gary Kubiak as the head coach. Put it in the bank.


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Look Into My Family's Past

My brother and I went through some old photos the other day, as well as some items that we had forgotten about. One was extremely interesting. It was an old manila style envelope that my mother received back in 1989. It was a rendition on the Coward family history. I asked my brother if I could make copies of it, and he readily agreed to let me borrow it. 

As far as they were able to tell, my family history in this country started with Demsey and Sarah Coward who came from England and settled in Martin County, North Carolina. Records show he bought a hundred acres of land in 1778 and went on to buy several more hundred acres in the following years. 

What caught my eye, though, was a rendition of family members who served with the Confederate States of America or, better known as the CSA. This peaked my interest, so I decided to do a little more research.
Henry Coward served in Shea’s Artillery Battalion which was the 4th Artillery Battalion and would go on to form the Texas 8th Infantry Battalion. In 1862, they travelled to Cedar Bayou and captured Federal soldiers landing at Aransas Pass. In the same year, they rescued Confederate prisoners during a battle with the Union ships Midnight and Arthur. Later in that same year, Shea’s battalion fought in the Battle of Lavaca and forced the retreat of Federal gunboats. They were consolidated with the 8th Infantry in 1863 and became one with the regiment. The group drove Union troops back at the Battle of St. Joseph’s Island and fought Union troops in Louisiana in 1864. Only a handful remained to surrender between May and June of 1865, and it is believed Henry Coward was killed in action, as any record of him after the war cannot be found.
However, Henry and his brother, James Coltrain Coward, fought together while assigned to 
Company F, 12th Texas Infantry.  Following from U.S. Gen Web Archives: 12th Infantry Regiment [also called 8th Regiment] was organized and mustered in Confederate service at Waco, Texas, during the spring of 1862. Its members were recruited in the towns and cities of Clarksville, Cameron, Hempstead, Nacogdoches, Fairfield, and Waco, and the counties of Comanche, Milam, and Grimes. The 12th Texas Infantry Regiment was led by Colonel Overton C. Young and thus also known as Young's Regiment.  The regiment was assigned to Brigadier General Thomas Neville Waul's [First] Brigade of Major John George Walker's Texas [Greyhound] Division, Trans-Mississippi Department. The regiment saw action in March-May 1864 in Louisiana [the Red River Campaign] and Arkansas [the Camden Expedition].  Some men are known to have fought at the battle at Corinth, Mississippi. James is known to have survived the war and lived several years afterwards. His wife’s name was Mary Ann and they had three children together. Mary Ann died in 1870 and James re-married, but a courthouse fire has destroyed any record of who she was. James died in 1881 from ‘consumption’.
Zachariah Coward was a man after my own heart, serving in the Texas 33rd Cavalry, known as Duff’s Partisan Rangers – 14th Battalion Cavalry. We know he was with Company G and remained a private throughout his service. 33rd Cavalry Regiment was organized in April, 1863, by using the 14th (Duff's) Texas Cavalry Battalion as its nucleus. Its members were recruited at San Antonio, Port Lavaca, and Mt. Vernon, and in Kaufman County. This unit served in Gano's and Hardeman's Brigade, Trans-Mississippi Department, and was active along the lower Rio Grande. In April, 1864, it was near Bonham, Texas and contained 23 officers and 307 men. On June 2, 1865, it was included in the surrender. The field officers were Colonel James Duff, Lieutenant Colonel James R. Sweet, and Majors Santos Benavides and John T. Brackenridge. It is said Zachariah brought his saddle back home with him. The horn of the saddle had a Union bullet embedded in it, which probably saved his life and allowed him to procreate after the war. 

Malliellue Hildreth Coward signed up for duty in June, 1861, joining up with Benjamin McCulloch and was involved in the Battle of Wilson’s Creek in Missouri. McCulloch’s forces made up the Confederate right wing at the Battle of Pea Ridge, Arkansas and overran a key Union artillery position during that time. McCulloch was killed in action the next day. Malliellue made it back home to his wife Permillia and their six children. 

My relatives in Mississippi and Alabama got in on the action, not wanting their Texas cousins to have all the ‘fun’. James Coltrain Coward’s three sons also fought in the war, but were living in Mississippi and Alabama at the time it started. Levi joined the 4th Mississippi Infantry. His brothers, Albert Taylor Coward and William Washington Coward joined later. John Watson Coward, a cousin of theirs, served in the 41st Alabama Infantry. William Washington Coward was killed in action at the Battle of Corinth, the same battle his father was wounded in. Levi Coward was also wounded in this battle, and later died of his injuries. John Watson Coward survived the war and came back home to his wife, Elizabeth Jane Bunnel and their TEN children. I can only surmise that he later died of STRESS.
As far as we know, they all served with distinction for their cause. 
So, there you have it; the reason why I have been such a REBEL all my life. Until next time….have a great week.


Monday, September 23, 2013

My View on Matt Schaub

For those of you who may not know who this gentleman is, he's the quarterback for the Houston Texans, going on seven years now. The first two weeks of the season he rallied the Texans to come from behind and win. Of course...this means they started out slow, were getting their butts kicked...and had to shift into overdrive to prevail.

Yesterday, they went to Baltimore to take on the Super Bowl Champ Ravens. They had no need in being in awe of this team. They were riddled with injuries on both sides of the ball and even on special teams. Last year, when Baltimore won the NFL Championship, the Texans beat them during the regular season to the tune of 43 to 13. So, the notion of the Texans going into their stadium and feeling somewhat jittery about playing them...can be put to rest.

Gary Kubiak needs to admit...before the next game...which he won't...but he should...admit that his experiment with a second string quarterback is now over and that there are definitive and absolutely final results. Those results, collectively, are....there's a reason why guys are second string quarterbacks.

This is Matt Schaub's tenth season in the league. For three of those, he was a back-up quarterback. That is, until Gary Kubiak suddenly got over his mental fog and realized that, 'HEY! We can't win with David Carr!', and opted for Schaub. All the people cheered. John McClain, NFL sportswriter for the Houston Chronicle, asked me to write the lyrics to a song called "Big, Bad Schaub". You can watch the video on YouTube. Schaub came to Houston from Atlanta and immediately went to work gaining the confidence of his teammates and working with them closely to help turn them into a winning franchise. All the people cheered. After much hard work and several disappointing seasons for the Texans' Won/Loss column (yet GREAT stats by Schaub...we'll get to that later), Schaub gets hurt on a quarterback sneak. Out for the season. All the people moaned. The great football god of all the universe and every dimension that contains another universe....Gary Kubiak...sent in the back-up quarterback, T.J. Yates to take over for our fallen hero. All the people moaned. But, the young Yates-ter rallied the team and won the game. All the people cheered. This new knight of gridiron warfare took the Texans to their first playoff appearance. All the people cheered. This new knight of gridiron greatness led the Texans to their first playoff victory. All the people ran around the stadium and cheered and cheered. Then, they lost the next game, and the people moaned. The following year, Matt Schaub was back and the Texans were winning almost every game. All the people cheered. Then, they went 1 and 4 down the stretch, where Matt Schaub only threw one touchdown pass in those last five games. All the people went...huh? But then, Matt Schaub won the first playoff game and all the people cheered again. Then, Matt Schaub met the big, nasty, gnarly New England Patriots and Tom Brady...and he melted in the wind. All the people moaned.'s the deal about yesterday and what got us here. On fourth and two you go north and south, not east and west. What does Kubiak/Schaub do? They run a quick out to Tate who is quickly wrapped up by a corner for a two yard loss. That takes us to Kubiak's perfected Field Goal Offense. I like to call it the FGO. We had three of those babies yesterday, man. THREE. Eat that. Two pick sixes in two games is unacceptable on any level of play. Four interceptions in three games is unacceptable on any level. He has no confidence, so he only sees #80 and everyone in the stadium knows who he is going to throw to. They also know that when Daniels does a crossing route, Schaub locks radar on him. That's why the pick six yesterday. When you have first and goal, and two of your three downs are passes...and NONE of them break the goal line? You have a serious confidence issue. Gary Kubiak, I firmly believe, forges a game plan to fit Schaub's strengths and not to include the strengths of the talent around him. Dink and Dunk is the order of the day for Schaub, who today on the radio is being referred to as Noodle Arm. He's being eviscerated on sports talk and he deserves every bit of it. But Kubiak's insane play calling and refusal to spread his offense with the weapons he possesses, must go right along with it. Jerome Solomon, Houston Chronicle sports writer, referred to him as Konserviak. I wish I had thought of that first. If you look at Schaub's stats, you will see an All-Pro quarterback with impressive numbers. But, when you compare those numbers with what you are actually seeing on the field, it makes you wince if you know what you're looking for. Kubiak isn't going to call a play that is high percentage for Matt Schaub...period. It might make his quarterback look bad (as if THAT'S not happening), might make him look bad, and you can't have that. Plus, Schaub is a stone statue back there and when protection breaks down he just wilts like butter in the microwave. At least with Yates or Keenum, these guys have the speed to run out of the pocket and either make time to find an open receiver or tuck it and go. Schaub runs like a legless gazelle. Not only that, the term Noodle Arm fits him perfectly. If the ball goes beyond twenty-five yards, the trajectory and spin begin to fizzle out. NO FIZZLING!

It has become painfully obvious this guy will never get the Texans to the AFC Championship, much less the Super Bowl. They need fresh legs. They need a fresh look. They need young blood that still feels a need to make something happen instead of saying, "Well...uh...duh...we just take whut the dee-fense gives us. Uh..duh." I swear if I hear Schaub say one more time that they take what the defense gives them, I'll blow a gasket. Aren't you glad our generals...during World War II, didn't sit around a table and say, "Well, I guess we better just take what Hitler's willing to give us."????  You're on OFFENSE you moron! That means you attack and TAKE what you want. While they're digging in you're dropping bombs and artillery rounds all around the poor saps in the ditches. Don't sound like some beggar looking for scraps, because they'll give you those ALLLLLL day long, dude. Offense is force against that which is trying to keep you from delivering it to its fullest. The defense has no idea what you are about to do on any particular play. They're guessing from film study, tendencies and situational stats. You and the ten men with you are the ONLY ones on the field that know exactly what you're going to do. UNLESS!!!!! You're Matt Schaub being led by Gary Kubiak. THEN...  everybody  ...and their DOG knows what you're going to do.

As far as I'm concerned, these two are connected at the hip and are a package deal. After the Texans go 9-7 this year, deliver the divisional crown to the Colts....AGAIN...and miss the playoffs completely; Gary, Rick Smith and Matt Schaub should be shown the door. If McNair keeps them on, then that just means one thing. He's senile. I'm out!!!!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Shut 'er Down

Chicken 'Obama' Little is running around the chicken yard screaming 'The sky is falling! The sky is falling!' about this looming government shutdown and it's all crap. Anyone that knows anything...anything...about the way our government was set up by the founders is that it wasn't supposed to work well to begin with. They knew, as we all should, that a government left to its own machinations will always negatively affect the people it governs; so they put in so many checks and balances and so many branches that could effectively nullify the other with its own set of powers, they felt like they had done a good job of keeping Americans free and their liberties intact. And they did. Until we decided we were more interested in our iPhones and XBoxes than a burgeoning tyrannical government that wishes to turn us into subjects instead of keeping us on as citizens.

I find it so funny when one of these 'elite' Washington insiders says, "We just can't get anything done," when speaking about the two parties fighting and cussing and discussing every whipstitch. That's the point you bunch of dinglefooses. Every time you get something 'done' it costs us in more taxes. WE DON'T WANT YOU TO GET ANYTHING DONE! Idiots. Whenever they DO something, it turns out to be something like Obamacare that ends up costing everybody more money so their newfangled government program can operate for the 'public good'. Whatever.

In case you need a memory surge, check this out. There was a shutdown of the gubment when Bill Clinton was in office. It lasted twenty-one days, from December 16 to January in 1996. The result was the furlough of several hundred thousand federal employees (Yea! We're too bloated with them already) and it affected several layers of the economy, for a short while. But, we're still here, aren't we? We didn't get sucked up into the political maelstrom of black holedness and get turned into zombies, as was probably predicted. Well, most of us didn't. Those that did were Demoncrats.

I say, 'Shut 'er down'. Congress holds the purse strings and they should keep them tight and let the Democratically controlled Senate, led by the odoriferous, Alzheimer's plagued Harry Reid, twist in the wind over it. What we need right now more than anything is for this government to SHUT the hell DOWN. All it does when it's running is impinge on our rights, dig into our wallets, and pass new laws to spy on us instead of the bad guys. With this administration, WE are the bad guys. Every time some wacko nut job shoots a bunch of people, they want to take all of our guns away and we didn't do it. I went to my gun cabinet the other day and yelled at all my guns, doing all I could to infuriate them into striking back. Nothing. I was amazed at how patient and forgiving my guns were at not jumping out of the safe and shooting me dead. I don't understand it.

Continuing to raise the debt limit so the government can keep operating as it like giving a truckload of Twinkies to an obese heart patient. Obama wants more money. How do you think he's going to get it? Hell, he's printing forty billion a month and the government is STILL spending more than it's bringing in. Obama's solution is to raise taxes...AGAIN. Obama's solution is to hire more federal employees, specifically the IRS so it can run Obamacare. Isn't THAT a pleasant thought. Obama's solution is to throw a fifty-five gallon drum of gasoline on a bonfire that's raging out of control. At some point, the crew of this starship has to tell its captain can't fly this thing straight into a star, and then mutiny. Soon, America's economy will collapse under its own weight, and it won't take much longer. The only real way to save this country is to let October 1 slip by with nothing being done. Furlough hundreds of thousands....shut down the spending....let Obama sweat over it....and leave us the hell alone.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Roller Coaster Ride

I was copied on an e-mail sent to our producer from a high-powered literary agent based in Los Angeles. He said, due to the producer's recommendation, he would be glad to look at my work and see how his company can assist me in this new career.

This is what I've really been looking for all these years. If there's one thing to know going into this's a tough biz.

I started writing more than fifteen years ago. It started out with poetry as I needed an outlet for my emotions during trying times. About five years ago I began a search for a literary agent. I thought I got close one time. The guy was talking about how he could make me Longfellow, Wadsworth and Shelley all wrapped up into one. It was sounding really good until he dropped the other shoe. All I had to do was give him twenty-five thousand dollars. Click. Apart from that incident, I couldn't get anyone in that field to talk to me...much less look at my work.

Trying to get published and/or get an agent to help you get published is one of this world's great lessons in patience. It is a very competitive market and there are so many actual and would-be authors out there hawking their wares that you wonder if anyone will ever see you among the masses that are clamoring for attention. I could wallpaper my house with rejection slips and at times it got very discouraging. 

What helped me was that I love to write. It is a passion that has grown with time and I am never more at peace than when I am banging out a new story. I get emotionally attached to some of the characters (I know...I need therapy) I create and at times I can't bring myself to kill them off or just leave them dangling at the end of the book.  An example is Sam Harridan, the main character in The Grove of Akkadia. It wasn't until I was more than halfway through the book that I decided I would keep Sam active in a sequel. That's how much I like him. On the flip side, the unmitigated wickedness of Enidor Fox in Evil Most Holy just couldn't be contained in one I'm mulling a sequel to that one. You have to love what you do if you ever expect to get better at it. And, that's what has happened to me. If you compare my first novel, Deathjester, with my latest release, Hell's Gunman, you wouldn't know it was written by the same author.

When everyone who read The Keeper's Dare, (who got back to me), said that it would make a great movie, I decided to write a screenplay. I've been shopping it now for almost three years. I got a nibble of interest while in London with some folks in the UK Film Industry, but it soon petered out. Then, another little break and the script was in Hollywood being read by a producer and again, it fizzled and died. Now, I have two exclusive contracts coming my way with interests in it and The Grove of Akkadia. Will they make feature films of these? Who knows? The probability factor says only happens to the other guy. The possibility factor is wide open and says can happen to anybody. And now, as I said at the beginning of the blog, a literary agent is willing to look at my work and consider taking me on as a client. Will he? Again, who knows? But there is one rule that is true across every spectrum of employment, profession or career. It's not what you know...but who you know. There have been so many 'chance' happenings since last January that coincidence doesn't quite cut it when you're looking at how this has all occurred.

Most of the time it takes about six months and up to a year for me to write a novel. Hell's Gunman was written in two months. When my brother read it, he urged me to not put it up as a self published work, but to send it to a publisher. I had been down this road soooo many times and only got one-sentence rejection slips back in the mail over and over and over again. Yet, I took his advice and in three months I had a contract. So, not only do you have to love writing, you have to be persistent and never give up. There will be family members that will shake their head at your effort and wonder why you try. There will be friends that will smile and tell you 'That's good' that you're writing, but their mannerisms tell you what they are really thinking, and that's 'Whatever'. There will be acquaintances that couldn't care less that you write in your spare time and won't want to listen about your latest book idea. feel all alone.

That's when I'm at my best. In my opinion. I seem to get more determined when I'm the last defender of the Alamo (a symbol of my work). Finishing The Last Medal, I put it in my wife's hands and asked her to read it. The story is a fictional crime/detective yarn set in Houston. About halfway through, she approached me and warned that I better not have killed off a character named Hinson. I said, "Baby, the book's already been written. If he's dead, he's dead." I knew then the story had grabbed her, and she doesn't like that kind of book. When finished, she told me it was my best work yet and while reading it she kept thinking, "Hey, my husband can write.". I had a fan. It only took twelve years.

Right now, I'm almost at the top of this roller coaster. My desire is to stay there once I reach it, and my prayer is that I don't go back into the dip of writer's despair. But if I do see all this crash and burn and hit with a loud thud...I won't give up. I won't stop the long as there is breath in my body. It's been a long ride. Maybe it is my time. We'll see.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

How To Tell You're Growing Old

Of course, the first clue is what you see in the mirror. Yeah...I'm gettin' old. Here are a few more clues I've come up with.

1.  You're growing old if you have a weekly pill dispenser with more than five pills for each day.

2.  You're growing old when you hear the music you grew up with being played on TV commercials.

3.  You're growing old when a part of your daily routine is to look in the Obits.

4.  You're growing old if 'a roll in the hay' has come to mean only biscuits and hash browns.

5.  You're growing old if you have learned how to effectively tone out your spouse and still nod at the appropriate times.

6.  You're growing old when all NFL players look like high school kids.

7.  You're growing old when the doctor gives the news about your impending death...and you smile.

8.  You're growing old when you can't remember sex ever being more important than going to sleep.

9.  You're growing old when your idea of a party consists of meeting another couple at Cracker Barrel.

10. You're growing old when doing number 2 is looked at as an accomplishment for the day.

11. You're growing old if the work week goes by as fast as the weekend.

12. You're growing old if you have no inhibitions about farting in public.

13. You're growing old when you take a tube of Preparation H wherever you go.

14. You're growing old if baths aren't as important to you as they were twenty years ago.

15. You're growing old when you get in the car, realize you forgot the keys, go back inside to get them, only to realize you put them in your pocket before you walked to the car. (Just yesterday)

16. You're growing old if your pants are pulled up under your moobs. (Men only on this one)

17. You're growing old if you can't eat anything past six PM without getting indigestion.

18. You're growing old when everyone that was older than you is now dead. It's kind of a BIG clue.

19. You're growing old if the snap, crackle and pop you hear every morning isn't's just you getting out of bed.

20. You're growing old when you start thinking you will never be senile. Or...aren't already.

Here's an old poem I saw several years ago to highlight our plight as we, meaning men, go into the Olden Years. I don't know who wrote it, but it wasn't me. I just like it.

Now that I'm old and feeble,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.
I used to have some trouble,
To make the thing behave,
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
But now I'm growing older,
And it sure gives me the blues...
To have the thing hang down my leg;
And watch me shine my shoes.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

What's the Matter, AFL-CIO?

"We have to pass it to see what's in it." That famously idiotic line from Nancy Pelosi is now the booger-bear for unions and I LOVE it. The AFL-CIO has passed a resolution saying, in essence, that Obamacare will be 'highly disruptive' to union health plans. Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo.

How can that be? The unions were the main supporters of their new master, who promised promise on promise about how we would all eat cheese and drink wine and have a doctor in every bedroom and a defibrillator by each bed and if you already like your health plan you can keep it and blah blah blah blah. But now? They're screamin' like stuck pigs now. And, they're saying changes in the law must be made to accommodate their lower wage earner members and they want rules implemented into the law that would treat their multi-employer plans as qualified exchange plans.


The White House has already made exemptions for this brick-a-brack and that one, making this new law a joke from the very beginning. If the rules are changed to accommodate unions, now that they see the new law affects them in a negative way, that should tell us all what Obamacare is really about. Unlike the clueless Supreme Court, a lot of us see this as nothing more than a tax and grab scheme to drain us of our resources even further and to put a lock and collar of control on us that will only get worse in the future.

The unions in this country have had their way for far too long. The arrogance of those running them and those who are members of them know no bounds. OH Yes, Obamacare is good for the rest of us peasants, but not for the unions or their members. Yeah? Well, stew in it.

Unions were a necessary evil at the turn of the last century, but they have done their job and its time for them to GO. I always thought it hilarious that people join unions and pay 'dues' that are just another 'tax' coming out of their paycheck with little representation to show for it. The only time the union leaders stand up and really yelp is when THEIR pocketbook gets hit. Reminds me of Congress.

I thought we were all in this together? Haven't the unions ever heard of give and take? No, they haven't. All they've ever read about is the 'take' part. Well, take this....Obamacare is bad for EVERYBODY who works and pays taxes, union and non-union alike.

If you want to know what the AFL-CIO really thinks, all you have to do is read the first draft that didn't make the cut for political expediency. The first draft said if the rules changes are not implemented to accommodate the unions, then Obamacare should be repealed. Imagine that. The signature piece of legislation that the worst president this country has ever seen passed and hoped to build his legacy a red herring that nobody...NOBODY...wants. Unless you're an idiot. Then, it's a great thing.

I apologize if you're a union member and you don't get your daily bottle from your masters. I know it's a tough pill to swallow, but YOU wanted this. As the old saying goes, be careful what you ask for. You might just get it. I have to go now. I'm laughing too hard to keep typing.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Putin Playing Obama Like a Drum

It's almost too painful to laugh at the ineptitude and incompetence that's going on right now with this administration regarding foreign policy, specifically Syria. Pootin'...(that's how I like to spell Putin's name) ex-KGB. Obama? Ex-community organizer. Who did you think was going to win?

Yes, let's allow Russia to 'police' their ally and scrub Syria clean of all those nasty chemical weapons. We can trust the Russians. Right?

Our 'wannabe' world leader marked down a red line. Then, he says he didn't mark down a red line. He lauds the treaty (that over 180 nations signed), as the proof text for military action against Syria. Yet, (as it's been reported on several reputable news sites), nowhere does it say that if someone uses chemical weapons, the U.S. is to attack immediately...or anybody else for that matter. In fact, all you hear from those other nations is crickets right now. France was all for it a few days ago, but now has backed off. Obama is a man alone, as even the demoncrats are deserting his good ship Idiot Asylum. He comes to the American people to state his case, but there is something strange in his rhetoric. Let's see...he was against the war in Iraq and seriously questioned the government's intel report about WMD's. Now, since it's HIM talking...we are to implicitly trust this laughing stock and rush pell mell into a religious civil war among people that are equally idiotic as he is that (A) has not attacked us, (B) holds no strategic value for us and (C) will hate us regardless of what we do or don't do.

Hollywood is silent right now. Some have said they aren't speaking out because they don't want to look anti-black. Ain't that a hoot? I like what one reporter said. Here we had George Bush killing brown people and he was attacked from every direction by the media. Now, we have a half-black president killing brown people but if you say anything against him then you're a racist. Can you not see how ridiculous that is?

If anyone is a winner in all this it's Pootin'. Russia has come on the world stage as the freakin' peacekeeper. The alliance between Russia, Syria and Iran is much stronger now thanks to Obama, Kerry and lil' miss presidential wannabe, Hillary "I got fired from the Watergate investigation" Clinton. After Benghazi, why does anyone still want to hear anything she has to say? Incredible. Pootin' owns Obama right now, and probably will while this amateur leader is still in office. Russia's allies, while few...are emboldened because Russia's leader stands strong and speaks out, while our leader spews out hollow threats and then skulks back into his cave when things don't work out. For the first time in a long time, that can be called NEVER, we have a president who blinked during a Russian stand-off.

When you look at the two men, which one comes off looking more like a leader? If you say Obama...I feel for you. I thank God for those in this country that have said no to any military strike in Syria. America's voice was heard, and unlike Obamacare, this time it isn't a fragmented voice or a partisan voice. It's a unified voice. WE DO NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING MILITARILY IN SYRIA. If he does it anyway, then that should tell us all we do not have a president that is representative of what the American people want. He will then be nearer to a dictator than an elected official.

I would take Bill Clinton back in a heartbeat. He could even put Monica in the bedroom next to his for all I care. At least Clinton had backbone. Obama is devoid of any kind of skeletal structure, symbolically speaking. He's a worm squirming in hot ashes right now....and it's all of his own making. Pootin' is simply stirring the ashes with a stick, making sure Obama gets it on all sides.

From politics to policy to administrative and my the absolutely worst president in the history of the country. The only question that remains is....can we survive him?

Monday, September 9, 2013

East Texas Baptist

When I went to ETBC, I didn't know what to expect. What I did expect, was to leave there and grow up. When I attended, there were about 800 students. I don't know how many there are now, but I've learned one thing from being on the ETB Facebook site for former students. If you got hooked by the high schoolishness of the place while looks like the hook went deep. I finally left the group on FB today, for it really saddens me to see how childish a lot of the people still are. (Girly voice) "Hey girls! Remember Merle Bruce Hall? The dryer was SO hot there!!" Really? Yes, I want to hear this. I'm standing on tiptoe to be regaled about the too hot dryer at this girl's dorm. Then there are the pics of those dressed up in all manner of ridiculous outfits AND being proud of it. It is a good site for requesting prayer. I found that a few of those I went to school with have either died or experienced life altering occurrences in their lives. That's a good thing that prayers are being requested and the requests are accepted.

But it is the high school nature of the conversations that gets me. I understand we were all young and did stupid things and acted childishly. But I don't revel in it. As everybody does, I like to reminisce. Yet, it seems to me the majority of these people never grew up. Or, if they did...which I doesn't show on this site. I just shake my head at the ridiculous nature of some of the posts. I think, "Have they ever LEFT?" I thought it might be cool to pick up on long lost friends, but that isn't what this site is about...I suppose.

Don't get me wrong. If you are on this site and you like harm no foul. And, if you don't like that I didn't like it...I don't care. ETBC or U or whatever it's called now, is a distant memory of my past that I seldom reflect on. It was filled with wannabe preachers that were dying of terminal righteousness and preacher/deacon/missionary daughters who were so frigid (most, anyway) that when you went out with one of them it was like being with a statue. (If you aren't a preacher/deacon/missionary daughter, and I went out with you...that statement doesn't apply to you). I took this one girl to a Carpenter's concert in Longview. She had lived most of her life in Indonesia and was a child of a missionary couple. It was one of the most grating date experiences of my life. I think she said two words.

Being a licensed minister, I quickly decided I didn't want to be like any of the preacher boys there. Most of them weren't 'real' in my eyes, and aren't to this day. I did see where many of them are still in the ministry, and I'm glad. That only means they learned to play the game as a career, and did not learn it's a calling. Blanket statement? You betcha. Because that's all I saw while I was there. I wear the Black Sheep badge with pride. I didn't go to chapel like the rest of the lambs, because I never have believed, and still don't, that anyone should be MADE to go to church. I also never got reprimanded for it, even after one of my friends turned me in. ETBC or U or whatever they call it, seemed to be a black hole for juveniles to retain their juvenile thought processes. At least from what I've observed on the FB site. My time at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary was better spent, as well as my time at Lamar University. For some reason, they were more interested in teaching you what you came there to learn, instead of dressing you up like little Miss Muffet or Tom the Beanie Boy and having get togethers to discuss the latest cookie social.

If you liked going there, I'm glad. If you like continuing to live there, I'm glad. I really am. I thank God that I've left it behind. I made a couple of great friends there that I still keep in contact with. And, that's enough for me. When I was a child, I was involved with childish things. When I became a man...well, you know the rest. To me, it seems a lot of people haven't made the transition.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Labor Day

Ah, yes. The day we rest and take time out to reflect on the social and economic achievements of American workers. Let's take a look at a few of them.

Unions have priced themselves out of a job and want to blame everybody but THEM. Pension packages can't be sustained, trade for their products is down because the bottom line is so high, and cities like Detroit look like Baghdad after 'shock and awe'.

Fast food joints are under fire because their CEO's went to college, got a degree, worked their way up the ladder and now make squillions of dollars. Their workers have low paying jobs that were never meant to be family sustaining or career oriented, yet they want to be paid where a hamburger and fries will cost as much as a meal in a sit-down restaurant.

American workers are being forced to pay for those who won't, and for some reason the government thinks every lazy sycophant in this country needs to be taken care of on our backs. We have to pay for their housing, their food, their clothes, their pre-natal and post-natal care as they pop kid after kid into the world. We have to pay for everybody's medical care and dental care and eye care and anal care. And don't ever be so racist as to mention that before anyone gets welfare they have to take a drug test!

Millions of Americans live in economically depressed cities and instead of taking on the American pioneer mentality and pulling up stakes to build a new life where it's not so bad, they would rather march and protest and call on the government to take care of them. People are so ensconced into their comfort zone they don't think they should ever have to leave it. I'm glad the first settlers here didn't think like that. I'm sure the Indians wish they had.

What is your lot in the American workforce? Are you even IN the American work force? When you look at your paycheck, does it make you want to celebrate your economic achievements? If not, then do something about it and don't wait on the government. All we are to them is cattle to feed on by extracting more and more from the rewards we earn by the sweat of our brow.

Instead of whining about racial inequality, economic disparity and social indifference...pick yourself up, put on your work boots and strive for what you want and believe you deserve. This is still the land of opportunity for those who will work for it. For those who lay around waiting for it to come to them, they are the arsenic in the pie who suck the juice from the fruit of our labor. We are spiraling, in flames, down to the pit of becoming a nanny state. Yet, there are people out there who still poo-poo that things are bad or will get worse. They live in a bubble of contentment that will soon be burst by the very ones they trust in.

So, have fun today at your bar-b-que and beach party. You should, if you earned it. If you got the meat through food stamps? You're welcome.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Stung But Not Defeated

Every kid growing up needs to get stung by least a few times. Pain is a great teacher, and when that pain is coupled with a creature that is two hundred times smaller than you and shows no signs of being afraid of that fact, it's even a better teacher.

I've been stung by a lot of things. Fire ants are the worst. This is the only villain I've encountered that has radio communications. If you get into them, they don't start stinging you right away. Oh no. They wait until a whole division has hit the 'beach' and then signal for the simultaneous attack. I've never come out of a pair of pants as quickly as I have when those critters got hold of me. It's an humbling experience.

Wasps are the second worst. I've been stung by the 'red devils', the 'black bottoms' and the guinea wasps. I've been hit by bumblebees, yellow jackets, honey bees and those green and black striped ground hornets.

I've been stung by asps...I hate asps.

I haven't been bitten by too many things. I've been dog bit, cat bit, lizard bit, ferret bit (my brother used to have ferrets...mean little critters), bird bit, human bit (in a fight long ago), fish bit, but never snake bit. Except in life, of course.

There are many lessons one can learn through the experience. One, no matter how big your opponent, you still might be able to whip him out of his pants. Two, no matter how many opponents there are trying to kill you with their poison, you may still come out alive. Three, sometimes, when confronted with superior numbers intent on your personal destruction; the best decision is to run like hell. Four, Watkins Liniment will dull the enduring pain. Five, that which does not kill you REALLY is what makes you stronger. Six, you realize that you can lose the battle, but still win the war. (i.e. pouring gasoline on the offending fire ant bed).  Seven, you learn to recognize people who've never been stung in life. They fly off at the slightest thing...are angry about the smallest inconvenience... and they wonder why the world doesn't bow at their feet.

Being stung teaches us to respect others, no matter their stature in society. He who may not appear as one who can assist you on your path, might turn out to be your greatest benefactor...or worst enemy. Don't judge magnitude by its literal size. Just because its small, doesn't mean it isn't worth your attention. Be stung...but not defeated.