How To Tell You're Growing Old

Of course, the first clue is what you see in the mirror. Yeah...I'm gettin' old. Here are a few more clues I've come up with.

1.  You're growing old if you have a weekly pill dispenser with more than five pills for each day.

2.  You're growing old when you hear the music you grew up with being played on TV commercials.

3.  You're growing old when a part of your daily routine is to look in the Obits.

4.  You're growing old if 'a roll in the hay' has come to mean only biscuits and hash browns.

5.  You're growing old if you have learned how to effectively tone out your spouse and still nod at the appropriate times.

6.  You're growing old when all NFL players look like high school kids.

7.  You're growing old when the doctor gives the news about your impending death...and you smile.

8.  You're growing old when you can't remember sex ever being more important than going to sleep.

9.  You're growing old when your idea of a party consists of meeting another couple at Cracker Barrel.

10. You're growing old when doing number 2 is looked at as an accomplishment for the day.

11. You're growing old if the work week goes by as fast as the weekend.

12. You're growing old if you have no inhibitions about farting in public.

13. You're growing old when you take a tube of Preparation H wherever you go.

14. You're growing old if baths aren't as important to you as they were twenty years ago.

15. You're growing old when you get in the car, realize you forgot the keys, go back inside to get them, only to realize you put them in your pocket before you walked to the car. (Just yesterday)

16. You're growing old if your pants are pulled up under your moobs. (Men only on this one)

17. You're growing old if you can't eat anything past six PM without getting indigestion.

18. You're growing old when everyone that was older than you is now dead. It's kind of a BIG clue.

19. You're growing old if the snap, crackle and pop you hear every morning isn't breakfast....it's just you getting out of bed.

20. You're growing old when you start thinking you will never be senile. Or...aren't already.

Here's an old poem I saw several years ago to highlight our plight as we, meaning men, go into the Olden Years. I don't know who wrote it, but it wasn't me. I just like it.

Now that I'm old and feeble,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.
I used to have some trouble,
To make the thing behave,
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
But now I'm growing older,
And it sure gives me the blues...
To have the thing hang down my leg;
And watch me shine my shoes.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!