Monday, September 23, 2013

My View on Matt Schaub

For those of you who may not know who this gentleman is, he's the quarterback for the Houston Texans, going on seven years now. The first two weeks of the season he rallied the Texans to come from behind and win. Of course...this means they started out slow, were getting their butts kicked...and had to shift into overdrive to prevail.

Yesterday, they went to Baltimore to take on the Super Bowl Champ Ravens. They had no need in being in awe of this team. They were riddled with injuries on both sides of the ball and even on special teams. Last year, when Baltimore won the NFL Championship, the Texans beat them during the regular season to the tune of 43 to 13. So, the notion of the Texans going into their stadium and feeling somewhat jittery about playing them...can be put to rest.

Gary Kubiak needs to admit...before the next game...which he won't...but he should...admit that his experiment with a second string quarterback is now over and that there are definitive and absolutely final results. Those results, collectively, are....there's a reason why guys are second string quarterbacks.

This is Matt Schaub's tenth season in the league. For three of those, he was a back-up quarterback. That is, until Gary Kubiak suddenly got over his mental fog and realized that, 'HEY! We can't win with David Carr!', and opted for Schaub. All the people cheered. John McClain, NFL sportswriter for the Houston Chronicle, asked me to write the lyrics to a song called "Big, Bad Schaub". You can watch the video on YouTube. Schaub came to Houston from Atlanta and immediately went to work gaining the confidence of his teammates and working with them closely to help turn them into a winning franchise. All the people cheered. After much hard work and several disappointing seasons for the Texans' Won/Loss column (yet GREAT stats by Schaub...we'll get to that later), Schaub gets hurt on a quarterback sneak. Out for the season. All the people moaned. The great football god of all the universe and every dimension that contains another universe....Gary Kubiak...sent in the back-up quarterback, T.J. Yates to take over for our fallen hero. All the people moaned. But, the young Yates-ter rallied the team and won the game. All the people cheered. This new knight of gridiron warfare took the Texans to their first playoff appearance. All the people cheered. This new knight of gridiron greatness led the Texans to their first playoff victory. All the people ran around the stadium and cheered and cheered. Then, they lost the next game, and the people moaned. The following year, Matt Schaub was back and the Texans were winning almost every game. All the people cheered. Then, they went 1 and 4 down the stretch, where Matt Schaub only threw one touchdown pass in those last five games. All the people went...huh? But then, Matt Schaub won the first playoff game and all the people cheered again. Then, Matt Schaub met the big, nasty, gnarly New England Patriots and Tom Brady...and he melted in the wind. All the people moaned.'s the deal about yesterday and what got us here. On fourth and two you go north and south, not east and west. What does Kubiak/Schaub do? They run a quick out to Tate who is quickly wrapped up by a corner for a two yard loss. That takes us to Kubiak's perfected Field Goal Offense. I like to call it the FGO. We had three of those babies yesterday, man. THREE. Eat that. Two pick sixes in two games is unacceptable on any level of play. Four interceptions in three games is unacceptable on any level. He has no confidence, so he only sees #80 and everyone in the stadium knows who he is going to throw to. They also know that when Daniels does a crossing route, Schaub locks radar on him. That's why the pick six yesterday. When you have first and goal, and two of your three downs are passes...and NONE of them break the goal line? You have a serious confidence issue. Gary Kubiak, I firmly believe, forges a game plan to fit Schaub's strengths and not to include the strengths of the talent around him. Dink and Dunk is the order of the day for Schaub, who today on the radio is being referred to as Noodle Arm. He's being eviscerated on sports talk and he deserves every bit of it. But Kubiak's insane play calling and refusal to spread his offense with the weapons he possesses, must go right along with it. Jerome Solomon, Houston Chronicle sports writer, referred to him as Konserviak. I wish I had thought of that first. If you look at Schaub's stats, you will see an All-Pro quarterback with impressive numbers. But, when you compare those numbers with what you are actually seeing on the field, it makes you wince if you know what you're looking for. Kubiak isn't going to call a play that is high percentage for Matt Schaub...period. It might make his quarterback look bad (as if THAT'S not happening), might make him look bad, and you can't have that. Plus, Schaub is a stone statue back there and when protection breaks down he just wilts like butter in the microwave. At least with Yates or Keenum, these guys have the speed to run out of the pocket and either make time to find an open receiver or tuck it and go. Schaub runs like a legless gazelle. Not only that, the term Noodle Arm fits him perfectly. If the ball goes beyond twenty-five yards, the trajectory and spin begin to fizzle out. NO FIZZLING!

It has become painfully obvious this guy will never get the Texans to the AFC Championship, much less the Super Bowl. They need fresh legs. They need a fresh look. They need young blood that still feels a need to make something happen instead of saying, "Well...uh...duh...we just take whut the dee-fense gives us. Uh..duh." I swear if I hear Schaub say one more time that they take what the defense gives them, I'll blow a gasket. Aren't you glad our generals...during World War II, didn't sit around a table and say, "Well, I guess we better just take what Hitler's willing to give us."????  You're on OFFENSE you moron! That means you attack and TAKE what you want. While they're digging in you're dropping bombs and artillery rounds all around the poor saps in the ditches. Don't sound like some beggar looking for scraps, because they'll give you those ALLLLLL day long, dude. Offense is force against that which is trying to keep you from delivering it to its fullest. The defense has no idea what you are about to do on any particular play. They're guessing from film study, tendencies and situational stats. You and the ten men with you are the ONLY ones on the field that know exactly what you're going to do. UNLESS!!!!! You're Matt Schaub being led by Gary Kubiak. THEN...  everybody  ...and their DOG knows what you're going to do.

As far as I'm concerned, these two are connected at the hip and are a package deal. After the Texans go 9-7 this year, deliver the divisional crown to the Colts....AGAIN...and miss the playoffs completely; Gary, Rick Smith and Matt Schaub should be shown the door. If McNair keeps them on, then that just means one thing. He's senile. I'm out!!!!

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