Sunday, February 3, 2013

Excuse Me....

But all of YOU people out there who get offended about something, or claim you're about to get offended or want justice for being offended or have started organizations that try to stop people from being offended or file lawsuits to get money from being offended....get a life.

I'm offended that you're offended. I'm offended by the fact that I have to go to work every day. It offends the hell out of me. I'm offended that my parents weren't super wealthy when I was born. I'm offended that I'm not worshipped by all who know me and who don't know me. I'm offended by our government, your government, everybody's government. I'm offended that gorgeous women aren't lined up, trying to knock my door down to have their way with me. I'm offended that everybody doesn't think just like me, talk just like me, believe just like me. I'm offended at every other religion out there that isn't the one I follow. Abortion on demand offends me, gun control offends me, Obamacare offends me, taxes offend me, and the fact that Game of Thrones, Season Three, doesn't start until March offends me HIGHLY. I'm offended by the liberal media, the conservative media, the Democrats, the Republicans, the Independents, the Socialists, the Communists and the Fascists and the Nazis. I'm offended by black people, latino people, asian people, arab people, white people and mostly Californians.  In fact, I'm offended by people in general.

I'm offended by the social and cultural structures that exist in every corner of the world. I'm offended by war, murder, rape, child predation, human trafficking, robbing, burgling, terrorizing and any other kind of mayhem that might fall under that category.

I'm offended at women who wear clothes that don't have enough cotton to stuff an aspirin bottle and then get offended when you ogle them. Hey Miss...if you don't want men staring at your boobs, PUT SOME FREAKIN' CLOTHES ON. We're men...that's what we do and no amount of mental castration will stop us from taking a peek.

I'm offended that commodity prices are high and pay is low. I'm offended by the ecology nuts, vegans, vegetarians and all those who are against the Big Gulp. I'm offended by prisoners who demand air conditioning in our prisons, the slowness of depopulating death row, and the recidivism rate of criminals. Liberal thought offends me...wait a minute...liberals can't think. Okay, I'm offended by the brainlessness that comes out of liberals' pie-holes. I'm offended that the sun refuses to try something maybe just one time rise in the north and set in the frikkin' south. I'm offended the moon doesn't stay full all the time.

I'm offended the Texans aren't in the Super Bowl, the Astros aren't in the World Series and the Rockets actually have a player nicknamed 'The Beard'. I'm offended a tire for my Mercedes costs more than threeeeeee hundred dollars and that Fords, Chevys, Kias, Toyotas, and every other kind of car isn't programmed to get the hell out of my way when I'm on the road. Speed limits offend me, traffic rules offend me, and the fact I don't have a personal lane to go to and from work offends me.

Yes, it's all about me and the fact it isn't offends me. It's offensive to me the Moooozlims want to use the word Allah when they say the pledge of allegiance, when we all know they don't mean it when they say the pledge anyway.  It offends me that everyone is so ignorant to think Islam is a religion when it is actually a form of government disguised as a religion. It offends me that Christians, on the whole, are more sickened by the blood that bought them than they are about the watered down and unholy stuff that comes off as the Gospel these days.

It is my sincere hope this blog post offends someone, because the offended like company. Actually, it's ridiculous to see all the news about who gets offended concerning what. We are becoming a society...on a planetary scale...that errantly believes you can make everybody happy. So when one 'in the netherspere' group harps up about being offended, all these measures are taken to make sure they are happy. If there's one thing I learned in life, you can't make everybody happy. The second thing I learned about life is that a lot of times it sucks and there will always be people out there who go out of their way to be offensive. Get over it. Live your life and stop worrying about being offended or those who whine about being offended.

And if you are one of the people offended by this post....GOOD.

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