Friday, October 12, 2012

Smorgasbord Friday

It was reported that a pet store in Miami held a roach eating contest. The participants were vying to win a python. The 'winner' of the contestant, out of about thirty people, was a man named Edward Archbold, 32. The reason I say he 'was' the winner, is that shortly after he fell ill and subsequently died. None of the other contestants became sick. I don't know about you, but I'll stick to steak and taters, thank you.

In Great Britain, a place I dearly love, an 18 year old woman named Gaby Scanlon partook of a type of drink that is enhanced by the addition of liquid nitrogen. The nitrogen creates 'smoke' and 'fizzles' in the drink and is considered exotic. Well, in this case, Gaby must have guzzled the drink, consuming the nitrogen while it was still liquid. What happens in the stomach is that it soon turns to gas and rapidly expands, turning one's stomach into an oversized balloon. In Gaby's case, it burst her stomach and doctors had to remove it to save her life. Police are investigating the incident.

Albert Einstein was one of the most brilliant men in the 20th century. He wrote a letter to a friend that has been dubbed 'The God Letter', and was put up on eBay for auction. The initial bid was three million dollars. In the letter, Einstein calls belief in religion and God "pretty childish" and ridicules the idea that the Jews are a chosen people. I wonder what he's thinking now?

The U.S. is still sticking it to the natives that were here before the rest of us. North Dakota is seeing a huge oil boom. Millions of barrels of reserves have been found on Indian land. The Fort Berthold reservation is smack dab in the middle of this black gold rush. Four years ago, the tribe and state signed an agreement to split up the tax revenue...right down the middle. Tribal tax director Mark Fox says the oil taxes from the reservation have totaled $346 million since the signing of the agreement, but the reservation has only gotten a third of that. The State has taken over 2/3's. When the tribe protested and took their grievance to the North Dakota State Legislature, their idea was rejected. One would think we still live in the 1870's the way we treat these people. We give them land and say, "Here you shall live if you wish to keep your nation intact and be your own people. This land is your sovereign territory, set apart from the United States so you can rule yourselves. Only...the oil ain't yours, the uranium ain't yours, we keep the lion's share of any casino proceeds, and if you have a legitimate grievance we'll just add it to this huge pile of broken treaties and promises over the last four hundred  years." But, we make sure they have plent of firewater.

In Pennsylvania, a dastardly and evil criminal walked into a bank to rob it. Jeffrey McMullen, a 50 year old regular customer of the bank, handed notes to two tellers demanding money. When they looked at the notes, they thought it was a joke. How much was he demanding? One dollar. Jeffrey was obviously tired of working for a living and wanted to be prosecuted for a federal offense so he could be sent to a plushy Federal Prison to be fed three squares a day and lounge about on the taxpayer's nickel. One note given to tellers said, "FBI custody. Preferbly (sic) Loretto Pa. No press. Seal all files," according to the complaint. Police took that to be a request that McMullen hoped authorities would not publicize his case. The other said, "Federal bank robbery. Please hand over $1.00." Hmmm. Lounging about on the taxpayer's nickel. Come to think of it, that's not such a bad idea.

A man in Spain, who was serving time in jail, had repeatedly asked for authorities to go to his home and check on his wife that he had not heard from for more than a year. A judge had refused on several occasions to allow anyone into the home. Even when residents, who lived close by, were complaining of a foul odor coming from the home, the judge denied many requests from the town police and the civil guard to enter the home. His reasoning was there had been many complaints over the year's about the woman's total lack of 'hygeine' inside the home so he was not willing to infringe on her privacy with no more to go on than that. Eventually, the man was released on furlough and went to his house. He had to break down the door to find the mummified remains of his wife lying in bed. You can't make this stuff up.


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