Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Who Are These 'Undecided' Voters?

Every presidential election comes down to the dreaded 'undecideds'. Right now on the news, that's all we're hearing about. The undecided independent voter allegedly holds the fate of our nation in their wishy-washy hands, unable to make a decision with less than three weeks to go until the election itself. So, I began to ponder on just who these people may be. From what I've seen they come from all walks of life and include both male and female of all ages. However, I believe they share many common traits.

First...they're buffoons. Anyone who hasn't decided YET on who they are going to vote for doesn't have the sense God gave to an amoeba. What is it about either candidate that they can't possibly understand at this particular time in the campaign? It is obvious to me they haven't understood what Obama has done or hasn't done in the last four years and that they haven't performed their due diligence to see what Romney's track record is and then made an intelligent comparison. If they have waited until the debates to make a decision, what more information do they expect to glean from them? I have watched both presidential debates and the Veep debate and can affirm that 'deciding' information is not what's offered by these men. There are no specifics coming from either side, and understandably so. How can you be specific about major economic plans when you have two minutes to speak? I heard one of the 'undecided' voters today talk about how Romney made 'snarky' comments that didn't sit well with him. Snarky? Snarky??!! Someone needs to take his man card away for even using that word.

Secondly...they're hermits. These people must not have access to newspapers, radio, TV, magazines or internet. They must live way out in the woods or in the mountains, living off the land, trapping their food and fishing from the rivers for subsistence. They only come out into the public eye every four years to wield their enormous power over the rest of us. "Yes! We are the Undecideds, back to shape the future of the world! Bow to us, and put us on your news shows so we may spread our vast, unequivocal knowledge about all things politic and finally decide on who will be the next supreme leader! Bow to our undecideness, and feel the power of indecision!"

Thirdly...they're bi-polar. One of the symptoms of manic depression is difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. Anyone who hasn't made up their mind by now needs to go see a shrink. YOU'RE BI-POLAR!!!!

Fourth...they have low self esteem and use this as a way to look important to others. "Oh, well...I just don't know yet. Romney is snarky and Obama is persnickety. I like what both say, but the substance isn't there. You know?" No, I don't know. I know that if you're undecided at this point there's a reason for it other than the candidates themselves. It has to do with YOU. How much information do you need? What further convincing is there? Either way, decide to vote for somebody!!! Make a freakin' decision, already.

And finally, fifth...they think it makes them look intelligent. In fact, more intelligent than those of us who have already made up our minds. However, sadly, it doesn't make them look intelligent. It makes them look like hand-wringers, Nervous Nellies, worry warts, and outright schmucks. They would no doubt counter with, "But this is the most important election of our lifetime. Our vote should not be given haphazardly or nonchalantly. Every vote is important and should be cast only after considerably deep thought and trepidation." I would agree with that statement if this were June or July, 2012. But it's mid-October and there have been three debates. There has been ample opportunity to investigate, ponder, masticate, combobulate and then DECIDE. And, if they have done that already, and still haven't made up their minds, it's not intelligence that's keeping them from doing so. It's a mental disconnect that can probably be traced back to their childhood when they couldn't decide what color of socks to wear.

Too much importance is being placed on these people and they thrive on it. Take away the bottle of attention and they'll quit sucking on it and make a decision. Or, they might not vote at all. And that possibility is what excites me the most. Who needs 'em?

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