Monday, October 8, 2012

Tongue in Cheek Post

I'm very angry. Very very very angry. In the news today, a former Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader is taking a plea deal for having sexual relations with a student. A few years ago, there was the teacher in Florida who posed seductively on a motorcyle wearing a skimpy bikini that was having sex with a student. More recently was a teacher who was having a five way with her students. All over the country we are having story after story of fine looking, good looking, HOT teachers having sex with their male students.


First, I don't remember being taught by any fine looking teachers. We had a girl's basketball coach in high school named Miss Davis. She wore very short dresses to school and had a perfect hourglass figure, nice legs and a firm 'bum' they call it in England. Us boys loved for her to write things high on the blackboard, because it made the hem of her dress rise up to almost giving us a 'panty sighting'. The problem with Miss Davis was her teeth. They were all rotting out of her head. She was also mean. Very mean. My english teacher was an old maid named Miss Martin. She was the librarian when my mother went to high school. No thoughts of hanky panky with her. No sir.

I can't recall any story, during my school years, when a teacher was disrobing for her students to give them an added education. Especially those on the order of having the looks of an NFL cheerleader. Can you I often do...what it would have been like if we, as a 17 year old with hormones running through our bodies like a runaway freight train, had been alone with a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader type and she got naked for us and said, "Hey big that a frog in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" It would have blown way more than our mind.

There are many experts..ahem..that say this kind of sexual abuse is just as bad on the boys as it is on the girls. I beg to differ. I was raised in an era where sex was taboo as a subject in my house. The 'Birds and the Bees' were never discussed with me. Whatever I learned, I learned on my own. The first time I got naked with a girl it was a total disaster. I honestly didn't know what to do. When I look back on the incident, I still flush with embarrassment. It was such a stupid moment for me. How I recovered is due only to my sincere desire to see what the fuss was all about. It would have been much easier on me for a HOT woman nearly twice my age to gently 'guide' me into the experience and show me the 'ropes', if you will. She would have explained to me the proper needs and wants of a female companion and how to take the time to make sure my female partner was satisfied first. Not only that, she would have shown me how to accomplish that. I could have been a much better lover at a much earlier time than I was. I honestly don't think I would have been mentally or emotionally ruined. But, who knows? I certainly don't. All of my teachers were upright, chaste, loyal to their husbands, and never looked at us as sexual objects. We didn't have the slutty, sex driven, whorish, female predators in school as we do today. What a shame. What a dirt dog, bloody shame.

Oh sure, we had sex education in class, but it was textbook only. There weren't any teachers that were willing to take us to their 'lab' and actually experiment on us. Plus, I'm not too happy with the boys in these stories. They can't keep their mouths shut. All of them have to brag, or suddenly get this guilt ridden conscience to expose this woman who only wants to share her sexual experiences with them and broaden their horizons on how to treat women.

After all, I thought God had been removed from the classroom so our primal rage could take over. Instead of Tarzans, we have Janes. "Me Jane, you must do me now." In my time, we had to settle for being kids and playing football in the church yard and look at girls getting all lumpy in the right places and wondering what that was all about. It was an age of innocence that is long gone. Oh well, I can only look back and wonder why my appearance on the world stage didn't take place until 1995. Maybe I would have gotten 'lucky' and grown up faster than I was supposed to. Maybe I could have been part of a huge scandal and had a chance to write a book about it and be on Fox News at fifteen years old. Maybe I could have been the embarrassment of my family and eventually turned to a life in the porn industry, become addicted to drugs, catch AIDS and died way before my time. I look back and think...'Man, why couldn't we have had teachers like that back in the day.'

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